It's Defeat Time in Tennessee!

Normally, college football isn't something I get particularly excited about, unless I'm over at a friend's cheering for whoever he isn't. That being said, I do have a few teams that I like in the NCAA, and "Wherever Spurrier Is" is one of them. It necessarily follows that the Tennessee Volunteers are one of my favorite college football punching bags. Therefore, I am pleased to note that Steve Spurrier's South Carolina Gamecocks triumphed in Knoxville last night, defeating Phillip Fulmer's Tennessee Volunteers by a score of 16-15. As the Ol' Ball Coach put it, "God is smiling on the Gamecocks". That's a tame remark for a man who once cracked that, "You can't spell Citrus [Bowl] without 'U-T'" or who dubbed in-State rival Florida State University the "Free Shoes University", after FSU players were found to have accepted free shoes from some unauthorized party. Nevertheless, Spurrier's wise-acre remarks regarding opposing schools are either the stuff of celebration or the justification of blood oaths sworn at midnight. As for me, I'm always happy to hear him mock the other team, especially when it reduces dyed-in-the-wool alumni to vein-popping rage. (That being said, it can be a very lonely place in a sports bar near the Tennessee border when you're one of about three people cheering for Florida...) Congratulations to the Gamecocks, a harsh 'ha ha' to the Volunteers, and three cheers for Stephen Orr Spurrier. I'm betting that Laurin Manning will be pleased. --- Addendum: Too bad I live in Virginia and have no cognizable ties to the University of South Carolina, or I'd probably have a USC hat by now. That is, if they'd make one that said something other than what most of the ones I've seen do. Perhaps this one, even though it's not that generic white that I used to like.

Signal the Fearless: Best Speed to Basilisk Station

Back when I was in college, I read a lot of David Weber's space opera novels centering on the adventures of one H.S. Harrington, a commander in the "Royal Manticoran Navy". Put very simply, the RMN is defending its political sponsor, the Star Kingdom of Manticore, against the People's Republic of Haven, in a world that (very) roughly approximates the world of the early nineteenth century, only shifted forward a few dozen centuries or so. Horatio Hornblower in deep space, if you will. The novels got overly formulaic as they went on---right up there with Bernard Cornwell's Richard Sharpe novels---and I grew tired of the attitude Weber took towards the lead character.¹ However, I greatly enjoyed the early novels---usually the ones with the golden covers in paperback, except for the one about dueling---and often wondered if anyone would ever make a game for the kinds of starship combat seen there. The short answer is, "Yes, Virginia; there is a Weber-based wargame." Ad Astra Games have produced The Saganami Island Tactical Simulator, and it's been on the market for a few months. I was really hoping that the thing was for a Windows-based platform, until I read it closely and saw that it was, horrors of horrors, a tabletop game. Don't get me wrong: Tabletop gaming is something that has a long pedigree, with good games from the likes of Avalon Hill, Steve Jackson Games, and the odd TSR release. Heck, even the United Federation of Planets got in on the tabletop wargaming action with the Star Fleet Battles product line. Lots of fun with friends for hours as you move little metal things around on a board, yar. Herein lies the rub: I've never managed to talk any of my friends into anything like this. One batch of friends I had was close, but they wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons. I managed to sit through one session of that, all the while wanting to scream something on the order of "SAVE VERSUS THIS, YOU SOB!"² Every other pack of friends has been more interested in the football game on the TV, drinking themselves into oblivion, conspicuous consumption, or political power. Meanwhile, your friendly neighborhood frustrated Reinhard Scheer never got to refight Jutland, save the Bismarck, or annihilate a Yamato-class battleship with a Montana-class battleship. Bother! All that aside, I wish I could con someone around here into playing this with me, 'cause this game sure looks fun. Buckets o'dice and a bloodbath in deep space; what more can you ask for? (Well, other than a "Harrington Eyepatch +5 and Telepathic Hexapedal Cat which make one's rolls virtually invincible...) Maybe someone'll put it to pixels someday, like the Harpoon series of games. (And maybe I'll again cringe like I used to when I'd hear the call of "Vampire! Vampire!") My route to discover all this information was long and circuitous, kinda like the route of the New York, Ontario & Western Railway. However, here it goes in order to give proper credit: JohnL of TexasBestGrok had a post on a new pipe organ in France. I readily admit being a sucker for pipe organs, despite the fact that I'm hideously untrained in anything like their use or a sophisticated appreciation of their music. It goes without saying that Pipedreams is one of the reasons I like the public radio genre. From there, it was off to A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance. I scanned down from the article on the organ to read this, which caught my eye for the same reason that the mentioned site caught hers. (This was before I knew it referred to something by Joss Whedon...) Anyways, I wind up at last at The Eternal Golden Braid, and a read down the page gives me notice of a new Harrington book. Not that I'll buy it, but I must say that it's sparked an interest in going back and reading about the Horrible Hemphill---who I always figured must've been a bit of a babe---and the other goings on out Manticore way. Oddly enough, I wound up being more interested in a bunch of PRH officers, namely Thomas Theisman, Lester Tourville, and probably the only literary crush I've ever had, Citizen Commander Shannon Foraker. "Oops", indeed. --- ¹ See here for earlier remarks by me regarding Mr. Cornwell's formula. With regards to Mr. Weber's handling of the character, it started to sound like a John McCain press release: "Those who agree with me on the correct war action march with the titans of history as the greatest warriors ever to take to space. Those who oppose me, regardless of the merits of their case, are craven pigs who are obviously out to destroy H.S. Harrington..." ² This was, of course, long before I knew that "Jesus saves; all others take damage".

Essential SF Movie Canon Meme

Stolen from TexasBestGrok is the topic of the latest post. Read his post for further details, and keep him in your bookmarks. FYI: The movies that I've seen are in bold. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension! Akira Alien Aliens Alphaville Back to the Future Blade Runner Brazil Bride of Frankenstein Brother From Another Planet A Clockwork Orange Close Encounters of the Third Kind Contact The Damned Destination Moon The Day The Earth Stood Still Delicatessen Escape From New York ET: The Extraterrestrial Flash Gordon: Space Soldiers (serial) The Fly Forbidden Planet Ghost in the Shell Gojira/Godzilla The Incredibles Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956 version) Jurassic Park Mad Max 2/The Road Warrior The Matrix Metropolis On the Beach Planet of the Apes (1968 version) Robocop Sleeper Solaris (1972 version) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back The Stepford Wives Superman Terminator 2: Judgement Day The Thing From Another World Things to Come Tron 12 Monkeys 28 Days Later 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea 2001: A Space Odyssey La Voyage Dans la Lune War of the Worlds (1953 version) Hmm. That's not too good a percentage. I suppose there's no room in the list for the cinematic iterations of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century and Battlestar Galactica, or some of the other stuff I've seen. For my money, 2010 surpasses 2001 in watchability and interesting quality. Contact seems to be one of these films that you either like or you don't, depending upon your attitude towards Jodie Foster. I read the book before I saw the movie, and it helped a lot, despite Carl Sagan's preachiness and self-righteous attitude against anyone who dared voice dissenting opinions. RoboCop is one of my all-time favorite movies---Dick Jones 2008!---and Aliens is probably one of the most quotable flicks I've ever seen. Hudson's one of the best cinema soldiers around. "Game over, man!"

Two Year Blogiversary

Today is the two year anniversary of my start into the blogging world. "I'm not dead!" Rather, I'm just on hiatus, like a television show. As a railway might put it, yours truly has been in revenue service recently and is up to his gills in work. I don't very much care for the situation, but the demands of various financial commitments must, of course, come first. I have several things up my sleeve for service enhancements and the like, because this publication (such as it is) is like the Chesapeake & Ohio Railway in that it is "For Progress". (And that's about the only favorable mention I'll give Virginia's other railroad. Anything Chessie did, Roanoke could do better. Nyah!) Ahem. I would like to thank all those who have maintained me on their blogrolls despite my long absence from the scene.

London

It goes without saying that the thoughts and prayers of this publication are with the citizens of the City of London at this point in time, due to this. Hopefully the SAS are planning some sort of retaliatory strike even now. I look forward to the day when the name of bin Laden and his al-Qaeda are but footnotes to history, dimly remembered problems from the early part of the century. NB: John Podhoretz, have you no shame? A bunch of savages bloody the nose of the Mother Country and you want to blow about how great you think George W. Bush is. As Joseph Welch once put it, "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" UPDATE: Courtesy of KJL@NROC, the oddly-named (for a Democrat!) Bull Moose suggests that the Union Jack be displayed, for we are all Britons now. I wholeheartedly concur. Without further ado:

Yet Another Death in the Hundred Acre Wood

Well, blast. The IMDB is reporting, confirmed by Kathryn Jean Lopez, that the voice actor for Tigger has died. Mr. Paul Winchell was 82. Last month, the voice of Eeyore, Mr. Thurl Ravenscroft, died at the age of 81. As Winnie-the-Pooh himself would put it, "Bother!"

The Morning Report

The delivery of the morning report for the Pennsylvania Railroad, at its headquarters in Philadelphia, was always an Important Thing. Well, I'm not the PRR, this ain't Philadelphia, and what I'm about to say ain't important, but here goes: -Sheila O'Malley provides advance notice that Bewitched is not a good film. Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil. Accentuate the positive---Nicole Kidman---and eliminate the negative, i.e. Will Ferrell. It can't be as bad as The Stepford Wives. Sheila's also got a nice article on Harriet the Spy, another one of those "books from your youth" that probably would stand up to reading as an adult. Careful when you read Ms. O'Malley's description of Rosie O'Donnell; I nearly choked on Corn Pops when I read it. -Does anyone play Star Wars Galaxies? I've been debating upon whether to take the plunge into that, and had a few questions that I can't seem to get answered.

Friday's Omnibus Post

So this is Friday, and what have I done? Er, not a whole bloody lot. A couple of things: -On the basis of known information, I wholeheartedly support the notion of an amendment to the Federal Constitution prohibiting the burning of the American flag. I am not convinced that the right to "free speech" as articulated in the First Amendment encompasses, or should encompass, the desecration of the Star-Spangled Banner. A while back, I wrote the following at Blogs for Bush: In response to flag burning, I've tried to make a deal with myself: If I ever see some yokel trying it, I'll do my darnedest to rescue that flag and give it to the local VFW in order to have it properly retired, or at least treated with honor. I'll allow it as a matter of theoretical and abstract Constitutional law, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over a burner being pounded into the ground as a result of the legitimate and justifiable anger of a patriotic citizen. Burning flags is for unreasonable extremists who don't need to be in the national political conversation anyways. It's juvenile behavior, if you ask me. I still wouldn't lose any sleep if Peter Patchouli got pounded into the ground as a result of his burning an American flag. Actions, after all, have consequences. Some consequences are more immediate and physical than others. However, Mr. Patchouli would probably sue for assault & battery, along with a criminal prosecution for the patriotic citizen. This is unacceptable from my standpoint. The solution, then, is to impose some cost on Mr. Patchouli, and the concept of establishing flag burning as proscribed conduct seems a valid means to do so. -If all goes well, I'll get to go and see Bewitched this weekend. If someone's going to follow in the footsteps of Elizabeth Montgomery, then it might as well be Nicole Kidman. Having Samantha around would be worth putting up with Agnes Moorehead or Shirley MacLaine. Overthrow the Emperor and rule my new empire, indeed. -The Dark Side Sourcebook for the Star Wars Roleplaying Game is nifty. It would be cool to have an RPG campaign of nothing but Dark Jedi. Heh heh heh. "You killed younglings!" "Yes. Yes we did. And it was fun!"

Messerschmitts, Bears, and Tornados

In doing the work on the Me 262 post, the following occurred to me: Given that the 262's engines were so finicky, I daresay that a P-51D or similar aircraft would be better at handling a rapid throttling up. To corrupt a quote from Episode IV, "Nobody worries about destroying a piston engine by rapid throttling up." "That's because piston engines don't overheat, weaken the turbine blades through that heat, throw a blade and promptly garbage the engine when they're throttled up. Jumo 004Bs are known to do that." I snickered at the irony of a jet fighter being at the mercy of a piston-engined fighter in terms of performance in that particular circumstance. I then remembered another snicker story from the Cold War, one that was embarrassing to the RAF. It had to do with the Panavia Tornado F.3 ADV, the premier RAF interceptor during the 1980s. One of the ADV's jobs was to intercept and escort various Soviet long-range reconnaisance platforms that would fly down from (ostensibly) the Kola Peninsula for a variety of missions. One of the more frequent types of aircraft that the RAF would see was the Tu-95 'Bear', in varying configurations. The Bear is a bomber with swept wings and turboprop engines, much like one of the design concepts for the B-52 Stratofortress. As I remembered it, there was some situation where a Tu-95 was capable of escaping a Tornado ADV, and it involved acceleration. A quick bit of Google research confirmed my memories, and here's what was said: It was stated in this newsgroup sometime back that a favourite way (for a large turbo prop) to get rid of a tailing interceptor is slow down a hundred knots or so, (by changing the prop angle @full engine RPM), forcing the 'ceptor to spool down a bit and/or pop some flaps, then change the prop angle back so as to accelerate away from the jet. Which has to use buckets of fuel spooling its motor back up (or afterburning). Repeat a few times & the jet gets bingo fuel. and It has been reported that the ADV needs a partial light on one afterburner to keep up with a Tu-95 Bear, for Chrissake! Apparently, a favourite trick of Bear pilots was/is to fly relatively slowly at fine pitch, let the ADV hold station, the coarsen the pitch and wait 2 minutes for the ADV to catch up. That's probably a useless tactic in war because the ADV would have already fired on the Bear using medium range AAMs like the Sparrow or Sky Flash. Nevertheless, you've got to laugh at what is a very amusing parlor trick. Heh heh heh.

Curse You, Glen A. Larson!

It now appears that perhaps I watched too much Battlestar Galactica when I was in my more impressionable years. All blame, of course, is to be heaped upon the local UHF broadcaster that made such a bespoiling event possible. Y'all do remember UHF, don't you? The Llamabutchers and John of TexasBestGrok have been taking a bunch of religious selectors and posting their results. Anyways, here's what I've gotten from the two noted tests: From SelectSmart: 1: Congregational/United Church of Christ (100%) 2: Methodist/Wesleyan/Nazarene (100%) 3: Presbyterian/Reformed (96%) 4: Lutheran (90%) 5: Anglican/Episcopal/Church of England (85%) 6: Eastern Orthodox (85%) 7: Baptist (Reformed/Particular/Calvinistic) (77%) 8: Church of Christ/Campbellite (74%) 9: Pentecostal/Charismatic/Assemblies of God (73%) 10: Anabaptist (Mennonite/Quaker etc.) (66%) 11: Baptist (non-Calvinistic)/Plymouth Brethren/Fundamentalist (66%) 12: Roman Catholic (63%) 13: Seventh-Day Adventist (49%) I don't know a blessed thing about Congregationalists or the UCC (be it religious or legal, as my grades in contracts, sales, and secured transactions would suggest) but I am a United Methodist, so that's nifty that I scored 100% there. I suppose Theodore Roosevelt's quote about Woodrow Wilson---"[D]amned Presbyterian hypocrite!"---must be applicable. After all, Wilson was a Virginian, born in Staunton. I keep meaning to stop there when I'm traveling Interstate 81, but I never do. Up next is BeliefNet: 1. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (100%) 2. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (97%) 3. Jehovah's Witness (88%) 4. Eastern Orthodox (84%) 5. Roman Catholic (84%) 6. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (74%) 7. Seventh Day Adventist (73%) 8. Orthodox Judaism (73%) 9. Orthodox Quaker (71%) 10. Baha'i Faith (69%) 11. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (63%) 12. Sikhism (61%) 13. Islam (60%) 14. Hinduism (48%) 15. Liberal Quakers (48%) 16. Reform Judaism (44%) 17. New Thought (37%) 18. Mahayana Buddhism (35%) 19. Unitarian Universalism (35%) 20. Jainism (33%) 21. Scientology (33%) 22. Theravada Buddhism (33%) 23. Neo-Pagan (29%) 24. New Age (19%) 25. Nontheist (17%) 26. Secular Humanism (15%) 27. Taoism (10%) I've never even heard of some of these (Jainism? Is that the worship of English TV actress par excellence Jane Seymour?) and it's nice to know that I'd be like Khan Noonien Singh---Sikhism---before I'd be akin to Osama bin Laden. Similarly, I take great pride in finding that I'd be a Roman Catholic or an Orthodox before I'd subscribe to limp-wristed liberal Protestantism. I am, however, dumbfounded at the appearance of both the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. I knew a Mormon or so in high school, but the last time I was in close proximity to one of Joseph Smith's disciples, the experience did not go well. To put it delicately, there was no ecumenical accord reached, and it wasn't due to lack of pleasant effort on my part.¹ I do suppose that an entire lifetime within the confines of the UMC has paid off, because I manage to score rather highly with their doctrines on these quizzes. As for the rest of it, I blame Glen A. Larson. Thank God for small miracles; it's a good thing that I waited until the last couple of years to read Battlefield Earth or else I might've wound up in Uncle Elron's Money-Making Machine.² Yee haw. ---- ¹ If I'm not a Mormon, then in the current Galactica reality, I must be one of the Cylons. Well, if that means I get my very own copy of Number Six for fun and profit, I could learn the whole "By...your...command" shtick. Gaius Baltar, you've got nothing on me. Except more hair, an insatiable blond in your mind, Lieutenant Kara Thrace in the sack, and a hot reporter in a bathroom stall. You greasy-looking Eurotrash loser. Blast it, Biggs! As for the Mormon guys, there may have been a cultural clash there. I was dressed in my usual faded polo shirt, unshaven with a baseball hat---looking something like this---covering an unruly mop of hair, whereas these guys looked like they'd just stepped out of Cape Canaveral, circa 1960. Short hair, white short-sleeve shirts, black ties, black pants, black shoes, and embossed tags detailing their name and rank, or something. They not only knew a lot about my home, they knew who I'd gone to high school with, and spoke in eerie turn. It took conscious mental effort for me not to ask if Agent Smith had finished with Morpheus yet. ² On the other hand, if it meant I could pinch Kelly Preston off from John Travolta, then perhaps a bit of auditing wouldn't be such a bad thing. "If you don't give me your wife, then Xenu will win. Ain't it cool?"

TBG Aircraft Cheesecake - The Messerschmitt 262

JohnL over at TexasBestGrok has his latest installment of Aircraft Cheesecake. This week's installment concerns the strangely attractive Messerschmitt 262. The Me 262 was the world's first combat-deployed jet fighter, developed during World War II as a strike fighter at the orders of Adolf Hitler. Luckily for the Eighth Air Force's daylight formations of bombers, the Me 262 wasn't developed immediately for interception operations, and thus took longer to get into service for that purpose. Indeed, it was lucky for us that the entire German air war was on its knees by the time of the Me 262's introduction. Between a chronic lack of spare parts, fuel, trained pilots, and support infrastructure, the Me 262 could not be used to its full capability. The thing needed cover on its takeoff and landing cycles because it wasn't that maneuverable and took a while to perform either cycle. USAAF/RAF fighters got good at bouncing the 262 on its landing cycles, where it was largely defenseless. I doubt that the course of the war in Europe would have been changed had the 262 been available earlier as an interceptor, but it certainly could have made our final victory much more expensive. A contrary view exists; apparently, the Eighth Air Force (and other heavy bombardment units) in the ETO were on the verge of cancelling operations at various points due to losses inflicted by the Luftwaffe's anti-aircraft artillery and fighters; with the 262 running around, the threshold for cancellation of the daylight effort might've been met, with unknown results for the war in Europe. UPDATE, 23 JUNE 2005: The Superintendent of The Cold Spring Shops has a pleasant mention of this article, as does John over in the original TBG entry. I'd like to revise and extend my remarks on the 262's shortcomings. The primary problem with the Me 262 weapons system was its powerplant. This is not uncommon; the General Dynamics/Grumman F-111B died in part due to problems with the powerplant, and the Grumman F-14A Tomcat's TF30 powerplant was a piece of junk. The 262 used the Junkers Jumo 004B turbojet engine as its powerplant; this was both good and bad. Good in that it was the first mass-produced jet engine, and bad for the same reasons. It personified Dr. Eldon Tyrell's (of Blade Runner fame) notion that "[t]he light that burns twice as bright burns half as long". The 004B was a persnickety engine; software engineers might've called it a beta. For starters, it only had an operational life of 10-25 hours before the thing was ready for scrap or serious maintenance. I'm not sure what modern jet engines get, but you might burn up a pair of these things a week. That's not good. Another problem with the 004B stemmed from the state of German metallurgy at the time; they couldn't mass-produce the kinds of metals necessary to make it a tough engine, and so they had to substitute lesser-quality materials for the manufacture of the turbine blades. So it's got engines made by the lowest bidder. So what? So, you have to handle them accordingly. Mishandling of the 004B---defined by rapid increases of the throttle---meant that the cheap turbine blades could break and be ingested by the rest of the engine. If you've seen The Phantom Menace, you know what happens when a pit droid (or a wrench tossed by Sebulba) goes into a pod racer's engine. This holds true on Earth as well; your engine becomes an expensive paperweight and you've got a potential fire on your hands. Additionally, the 004B did not spool up---provide additional power---easily. There was a fair amount of lag time between the pilot's advance of the throttle and the engine's response. Keep these two facts in mind: It doesn't like to accelerate quickly and it takes its sweet time when you try. What's this got to do with the takeoff and landing cycles, you say? Everything. Takeoff and landing will both require additional time, something the combat pilot doesn't always have. The 262 required a decent takeoff roll and you had to be nice to the thing during the entire period, climbing away from the runway in a smooth manner while throttling back if possible, to keep the engines happy. Not necessarily fatal under ideal circumstances, but with the USAAF & RAF running around, you might not get to do this. Worse yet was the landing sequence: The 262 pilot would get into position for landing, and essentially be stuck low, slow, and unable to accelerate off his approach if Mustangs or Thunderbolts showed up. You see the essential dilemma for the 262 pilot: He can't really run away from the battle in a hurry , and has to focus on getting to ground. That's not a very healthy strategy for survival, and it apparently accounted for a fair piece of the Me 262 losses.

Interview with John Milius

In the course of hunting through some articles on the death of Lane Smith, I came across this 2003 interview with John Milius. I recommend reading it, even though it's a little strange and certainly long for IGN's style. I recommend taking a fair dose of 'tongue-in-cheek' with you when/if you read it, or else you'll close the browser tab and swear off of Milius forever. A brief recap of Mr. Milius' work that's caught my attention: The Wind and the Lion Apocalypse Now 1941 Red Dawn Flight of the Intruder Mr. Milius' current project has as its subject the Son Tay raid of 1970. Put briefly, the United States decided to go and rescue some of our POWs from those bestial savages, the North Vietnamese. If Milius can get this made, then it'll be an excellent film, because the story is compelling. Jen Martinez has an anniversary post on the raid; check that out for further details. An additional site that liked was here.

RIP Lane Smith

Blast it. One of my more favorite Hollywood character actors, Lane Smith, is dead. People in my demographic generally remember him as Perry White on the ABC program Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. As for my own part, Mr. Smith won permanent recognition as President Richard M. Nixon in the television version of The Final Days. I think it was the scene where Leonid Brezhnev was barrelling around in a Lincoln at Camp David that sealed the deal.¹ Sublime humor, if you will. Additional roles by Mr. Smith that scored points with the judge from the Western District of Virginia: -"Nathan Bates" in V: The Series -"Mayor Bates" of Calumet in Red Dawn Red Dawn is a fundamentally disturbing movie overall, but Mr. Smith's character manages to be more memorable than not. It isn't every day that you get to see an actor have to react to the simulated slaughter of the residents of his town, and he does a pretty unforgettable job in one of the most wrenching sequences from Mr. Milius' picture. At the same time, Mr. Smith manages to provide some comic relief as he stammers around about the nature of the Boy Scouts in order to protect his son from arrest. Mr. Smith's gravelly voice and expressive face often served him well, in my opinion. He will be missed. He was sixty-nine years old. ---- ¹ Mea culpa, Mr. President; I understand from the IMDB that you didn't like this movie.

Irritating NRO News

Curse you, K-Lo! The Corner has moved to a much-easier-to-remember home. It's now at http://corner.nationalreview.com. You'll want to update your bookmarks. I thought you guys were the home of conservatism on the web! I have been betrayed! Bookmarks? Piffle. Bookmarks are so passé. I've got www.nationalreview.com/thecorner/corner.asp hardwired into muscular memory. It's automatically typed by now, after years of doing it, and now they go and change things? Calumny! Obligatory modified quote from The Empire Strikes Back: "You're trying to build market share and now you go and pull this!" Bah, I don't approve. I'd bet Edmund Burke, were he alive, would not either. Can we at least get some sort of redirect so that I don't have to go and learn anything else? Call it conservation of er, neurons. What would Russell Kirk say?

14 June 2005 - TBG Sci-Fi Babe Voter Guide

You've got to love TexasBestGrok. Here I was sitting next to an empty bowl of stroganoff, watching Greg the Bunny on DVD, with a fan puttering overhead whilst trying to beat that famous Virginia heat. I'd just dropped to 1-3 on the election recommendations, and life looked miserable. That is, until I checked TexasBestGrok. Y'see, JohnL had been posting his infamous sci-fi babe quizzes throughout the earlier part of the year, and despite his patent refusal to support women in uniform---neener, neener, Wilma still won---I enjoyed taking part in 'em. But, as is the way of such things, the polls went on hiatus for perfectly understandable reasons. It's back. And so is the ever-so-annoying voter guide, wherein your correspondent makes half-baked observations on the candidates, in a feeble attempt to sway the voting. Here goes, on The Women of The Incredibles A. I recommend a vote for Mirage. If this were Starship Troopers, the instructor would demand that I prove this in symbolic logic over the course of 150 pages due next morning. Luckily for me, since I don't know what symbolic logic is, this isn't a Robert A. Heinlein novel. This recommendation, much like many of my other ones, is based solely upon what I've been able to gather off a quick search of the World Wide Web.¹ Positive factors: -She's ambitious. This can be used to one's benefit. -She's blond. Your correspondent is easily distracted by blonds. Go figure. -She's got green eyes. Er, right. -She's evil. Someone's got to er, show her the error of her ways, and steer her back to the Light Side. Ahem. -She's repetitively described as "Syndrome's girl Friday". Inasmuch as this sort of description is probably guaranteed to drive perenially indignant feminists stark raving mad (as if they weren't already) I wholeheartedly approve. The only problem is that her name's Mirage, not Friday. Never actually figured that out. Negative factors: -None known. B. I do not recommend a vote for Elastigirl. What little bit of this picture that I caught at K-Mart one day involved Elastigirl's flight to the Evil Island of Doom, and her desperate attempts to talk a SAM emplacement into not firing upon her. Now, far be it from me to correct anyone on proper radio procedure for civil aviation, but her dialogue didn't impress. Moreover, she sounds suspiciously like Holly Hunter. Now, I don't begrudge (most) actors & actresses their political views, so it's not about what Holly Hunter thinks. It's about what her voice sounds like, and I'm still trying to figure out how that whole "I've said my piece and I've counted to three" bit was supposed to be conclusive in O Brother, Where Art Thou?. Giving the thumbs down to Holly Hunter's alter ego is somewhat painful because she did star in Always, which had the Douglas A-26 Invader and the Consolidated PBY Catalina in starring roles. Nevertheless, I've said my piece, and I've counted to three. Sayeth Mirage, "I'm attracted to power." Aren't we all honey, aren't we all. Thumbs up to the platinum blond with the French name and the luscious green eyes. Who says we can't reach across the Atlantic for some friendship? See here and here for a few more illustrations of this week's recommended candidate. ---- ¹ I've never actually seen this picture. The one time I had a chance to do so was either "Watch Underworld or The Incredibles". An accurate reproduction of my thought process: "Copious gunplay, Kate Beckinsale, black leather, and vampires or a Pixar movie. Pause. Goth is good."

Virginia Primary Results

Ouch. I haven't gone 1 for 4 in living memory. Of course, Jerry Kilgore wins in a rout of Warrenton Mayor George Fitch. After that, basically flip-flop my picks/recommendations, and you'll have the results. Once again, ye olde ability to pick winners gets called into question, and the math goes badly. Turnout was miserable for all Commonwealth-wide races; none of them cleared 4.0%. I suppose that this once again proves the maxim that only the die-hards vote in the primaries. Two things surprised me: 1. Bill Bolling's crushing of Sean Connaughton. Everywhere I'd been prior to this had virtually been "Connaughton Country", with there always being someone chanting the mantra, "Sean wants to run with Jerry". My response to that always was, "Gee, you think?" but that doesn't mean that everyone else came to the same conclusion. As far as I could tell, Connaughton had lashed himself to the mainmast of the good ship Kilgore and wasn't about to let go. Obviously it didn't work. I suppose it means that, amongst Republican voters, the anti-tax sentiment still holds considerable sway. This is unfortunate, but you go to the races with the electorate you have, not the electorate that you want. 2. Leslie Byrne's victory(?). My home base is nowhere near Leslie Byrne's, and she barely registered in my perception. Sort of a "I know she exists but beyond that..." kind of thing, if you will. I had expected Viola Baskerville to do what Donald McEachin did in 2001, crushing all comers with a heavily favorable turnout in the City of Richmond. Did this happen? Doesn't look like it, and even if it did, the percentages would only suggest about 4,000 votes up for grabs on Viola's expected base of support, so that does nothing to the 12,000 vote gap. A quick bit of telephoning around doesn't give me any real sense of who she is, so perhaps this woman from the far away reaches of the Commonwealth will be handily defeated by Bill Bolling. The one thing that I did pick up was that she's apparently tight with pro-Dean sentiment, so perhaps that explains why she has suppport. Bah, I was hoping to keep Howard Dean at arm's length from my beloved Commonwealth. ---- UPDATE, 2252 hrs: It appears that 17% of voters in the Republican primary need to be taken out and shot. I jest, of course, but I'd sure like to figure out what motivated them to the Fitch banner. One of my correspondents suggests that it's all about taxes, but I'm not entirely sure how that explains bucking the party's choice. On the other hand, with victory for the other candidate virtually assured, there's no time like the present to register a protest vote. Bah, protest votes. As of right now, Baskerville's pulled to within 9,000 of Byrne, with only a quarter of the Richmond City precincts reporting. Baskerville is winning 68-16 over Byrne, so it may be that the McEachin model wins again, defying my application of the Commonwealth-wide turnout number in what should be Baskerville's home turf. Curiouser and curiouser, says Alice. The numbers don't get any better for my man Baril or for Connaughton, either. Bother.

In re Michael Jackson

This is the first, last, and only thing I'll have to say about it. Allow me to quote Michelle Branch's "Are You Happy Now?" by saying the following: "I don't care". The case does, however, allow me to illustrate a point: A criminal defendant may be as guilty as can be. Whether he is convicted or not does not turn upon that question. Rather, it turns upon the relative skill of the prosecution and defense teams. A poorly-defended man may be convicted of a crime he never committed. A well-defended man may not be convicted of crimes he committed. Orenthal James Simpson, I'm looking at you. I have no articulable opinion on the case other than to state that by this point in time, parents should be on notice that funny things keep getting alleged in regards to Mr. Jackson, and that any parent who willingly allows their child to spend time at the Neverland Ranch should be on constructive notice of same, and thus be barred from civil recovery. Criminal liability for neglect of the child should be considered as a charge against those same parents. Bah, enough of this.

Navy v. Pirates, 06 June 2005

No, I don't mean the US Naval Academy Middies versus the Pirates of Seton Hall or East Carolina, either. Nor was Jack Sparrow involved. Paging Miss Swann. No, I mean the real things. That's right, the United States Navy engaged pirates on the high seas in 2005. The Arleigh Burke-class destroyer USS Gonzalez (DDG 66) was on patrol in the Indian Ocean when it received a distress call from a commercial freighter. That's pretty nifty, even though our people did not actually kill any pirates. Alas, I was hoping they'd make someone walk the plank. At any rate, I suggest reading the referring article from No Such Blog for further details and a link to the Norfolk Virginian-Pilot's coverage of the event. If you go to the Gonzalez website, you'll find an MS-Word document file announcing the thing. What it says, I don't know; I'm a WordPerfect man. Dip of the Jolly Roger flag to No Such Blog.

Weekend Sci-Fi

If you're like me and care to delve into the production details of some of your favorite entertainment franchises, you've probably run across various names that may or may not stick out. This weekend's installment of random sci-fi goes to a man who's worked on several of my more favorite memories from the late 1970s forward: Andrew Probert His first contribution of note to my eyes was the final design for the Cylon centurions in Battlestar Galactica. He's also responsible for the second-best looking vessel ever designed for Star Trek, the overhauled Enterprise first seen in Star Trek: The Motion Picture.¹ Probert also contributed to the design of the modified Bell 222B helicopter seen as the star component of the CBS television series Airwolf. This of course recommends him as well; suffice to say that a lot of his work meandered across my personal viewing habits from 1979 forward. Hats off to Mr. Probert! I'll start saving for the book he's promising to release some time in 2006; should be good. ---- ¹ The most beautiful class ever established for Star Trek was first seen in 1984, namely the Excelsior. It's kind of like Elle McPherson: Long-legged (er, nacelled, but whatever), exotic, and big enough to be a drop-dead knockout whether on the silver screen or the cover of Sports Illustrated. Yee haw.

Well, Duh

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed read by only a few.

What kind of blogger are you?

---- Gah, I need a good source of quizzes. Ever since Quizilla turned into "angsty pre-teen cartoon fiction" and a watering hole for the worst illiteracy seen since the Democratic Underground, quiz life has been hard.

Virginia's Republican Primary Endorsements

It's a little late in the game to be issuing endorsements, but so what? GOVERNOR: Jerry W. Kilgore Worth it if for no other reason than to irritate the central/eastern Virginians. The western end of Virginia could use someone in Richmond who saw it as something other than a safe target for jokes. Who knows, perhaps Jerry'll make sure that the maps used by the General Assembly extend west of Charlottesville. LIEUTENANT GOVERNOR: Phillip Puckett Sean Connaughton Not that I have any love for Mr. Connaughton, but sources close to people who hear things from the Kilgore end of things suggest that the electoral math favors a Kilgore/Connaughton ticket. Simply put, the Northern Virginians (not to be confused with the hallowed Army of Northern Virginia) are more likely to vote for a ticket that contains one of their own. If the GOP can make life difficult for Tim Kaine up North, then the Kilgore victory party could be underway by 2100 hours that night. I have nothing against Bill Bolling, who's reportedly a good guy. All things being equal, I'd rather have Phil Puckett in the general election. West of Charlottesville represent, yo. ATTORNEY GENERAL: Steve Baril Mr. Baril, a Richmond attorney, didn't cost me much, if anything, to educate, since he attended private schools---the Hampden-Sydney College and the University of Richmond to be exact---for undergraduate and graduate work. His stated goal of wanting to be the people's lawyer conflicts directly with the actual role of the Office of Attorney General, but it sounds nice on the campaign spots.¹ We'll have to throw a bone to the Richmonders anyways, and Mr. Baril seems like the type who could fill that role nicely. I have nothing against Bob McDonnell, and I hope he will continue to provide his services from the House of Delegates for several more terms. I'd just rather not hear of aggrieved Richmonders sulking down at the 'rivah' because their city got shut out in candidates. There you have it, my slate of recommendations. I expect to bat about 0.6667 in this particular outing, but nobody's paying me to make the calls. As always, comments, rants, tirades, the questioning of my parentage, and the like are welcome in the comments section. ---- ¹ The Office of Attorney General is actually the law firm for the Commonwealth of Virginia and represents the Commonwealth on a variety of issues. It doesn't actually do any work directly for "the people". You can't just dial up the Pocahontas Center and get an attorney. They'd more than likely refer to you someone who could, though. They're pretty efficient in that regard.

The Future Is Flux

First things first: Viacom's MTV has never managed to rise above anything other than a channel that was after CBS and in front of the USA Network on my cable system, a station where this particular train did not and would not stop. This has always been the case, since its inception in the early 1980s.¹ But hey, this is Virginia, and we always have an exception. ("My Lord Your Honor, the rule in Queen Elizabeth's Case is more accurately applied here, rather than the more modern rule adopted in 1700...") For a brief moment, in the mid-to-late 1990s, MTV managed to catch my attention for a short while. What monumentous occasion produced this? Three things, House of Style, Beavis and Butt-head, and Aeon Flux. The first was, of course, for Cindy Crawford, first introduced to me by way of Denis Leary. The second was simple appeal to the more base, coarse, and downright malevolent humor lurking beneath the surface of all young men. The disruptive effect of screaming, "I am the great Cornholio" in what's supposed to be a serious setting cannot be overstated. That leaves us with, as it was once put, Frau Flux.² I vaguely remember Liquid Television, on which a variety of Aeon Flux shorts by Peter Chung aired. Thinking back on it, I was probably drawn into the fact that they were animated, involved copious amounts of gunplay and random violence, plus (usually) a skyrocketing body count. It didn't hurt that Frau Flux wasn't so bad looking, but more on that later. The program was later extended into its own series, with a more or less coherent plot, detailing the adventures of Aeon Flux, a combination assassin/spy. Getting any deeper into would require a lot more space, which I don't intend to do. Keeping track of the plot on any other level than Aeon versus Trevor Goodchild (head of the more-or-less enemy state and Aeon's occasional, er, companion) would require a degree in the inner working of Stanley Kubrick's mind. Like I said, difficult to follow from episode to episode. Strange and off-the-wall themes pervaded every episode, along with some fetishistic behavior that I didn't much care for at the time. Tongues in the ear are not my forte, you see. Anyways. The program suffered the fate of every program that I like, and was not renewed. A few years intervened, and then I managed to get the more-or-less complete series on VHS from something called 'Amazon.com'.³ I coughed up for a copy of the MTV-produced book tie-in, and then eventually law school intervened, disconnecting me from the world of Aeon Flux forever. Or so I thought. Fast forward to 2005. I've heard vague rumors of an Aeon Flux movie in production, but I shrug them off. Comes now a copy of that dreadful rag Entertainment Weekly in a trial subscription someone signed me up for.⁴ I'm idly flipping through the thing when something approximately like this shows up. Lo, it was Charlize Theron as Aeon Flux herself. Charlize Theron is an actress of which I've maintained a slight interest since seeing her in Mighty Joe Young and Men of Honor.⁵ On the other hand, I would never have considered her for the part of Aeon Flux. In fact, about the only actress I'd consider for it is Lara Flynn Boyle. However, you go into production with the actress that you have, not the actress that you want, to paraphrase Donald H. Rumsfeld. That leaves us with Miss Theron and a movie in post-production. Therefore, I suggest that if you've got an interest in the property, point your browser over to aeonflux.com, where there are a few things to do courtesy of Flash. Me, I got the wallpaper. For better or for worse, I'll probably be ambling into the theaters on this one, if only to perhaps relive part of the pre-war era, where I didn't have a care in the world other than the next race or the next paper that was due. Heck, the movie couldn't possibly be any worse than Stealth.⁶ That which does not kill us makes us stranger. Tip of the Wisconsin hat to Swanky Conservative. ---- ¹ Cyndi Lauper & Captain Lou Albano fail when measured against the General Lee, Airwolf, and the Knight Industries Two Thousand, you see. In the more modern era, vintage Liz Phair, Sheryl Crow, and Lisa Gerrard might manage to win out. However, much like the number of Frenchmen required to defend Paris, who knows? It's never been tried. Ha ha. ² Yes, I own a copy of The Herodotus File. I hope nobody ever finds it; that's arguably one of the things I'd rather not have to explain. Nobody would believe that it wasn't some sort of pseudo-fetish mag. Meanwhile, a continuing injustice in the world is that Jessica Simpson's reality series is on DVD, and nobody's compiled all the Aeon Flux episodes for DVD. Perhaps MTV will pull its collective cranium out of its ventral cavity and do that to coincide with the theatrical release. That is, if they can do something other than drag down the culture, for once. ³ Either Das Boot on VHS or the Aeon Flux set were among the first purchases I ever made from Mr. Bezos' little kiosk. Go figure. ⁴ In the words of Wolverine from an ad for Damage Control, "Somebody dies!" ⁵ Hey, she's blond haired, blue eyed, and is a product of the ruins of the British Empire. What's not to like? She also did well in a turn as Britt Ekland in The Life and Death of Peter Sellers, one of the most depressing movies that I think I've ever watched. Geoffrey Rush, however, managed to cement his place as one of my more favorite actors with this production. "Walsinghaaaaam!" ⁶ Since this picture is almost certain to have a political angle, I expect several juvenile and poorly-veiled jabs at either George W. Bush and/or the Republican Party in general, courtesy of those political sophisticates at MTV. I never thought I'd long for the days of that annoying Tabitha Soren or that creepy-looking Kurt Loder. At the same time, it would mean the return of Serena Altschul, who wasn't all that bad looking. In other news, I want the ninety seconds or so of my life back that the trailer for Stealth attached to Revenge of the Sith has stolen.

Mr. Morse's Code in the Age of Flash

Here's something that's certainly interesting: A Flash-based Morse code generator/converter, courtesy of glassgiant.com. This little gadget is really nifty. I er, sheepishly admit to sending "CQD MGY" once I got the site loaded. Then again, I spent something like thirty minutes fiddling around with the Morse code telegraph keys at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C., just listening to the things. And yes, I tried to send "CQD MGY" there, too. Until then, I hadn't the foggiest that telegraphy had a sound to it, other than which I picked up from watching old war movies and the like. Instead, I found out that the system in place aboard Titanic was something called 'the spark drag' or 'drag spark'. The SI's exhibit had three keys, including one specifically designated as the type in use circa 1912. Naturally, I played with that one the most. It didn't sound like that radio-style chirp from the 1920s or the clattering I generally associate with railroad telegraphy; rather, it sounded like someone opening and closing an electrical circuit or a short/long sparking motion. It was, in short, both creepy and cool. Tip of the Executor hat to Ghost of a Flea. UPDATE: Found this discussing the Marconi wireless system deployed aboard Titanic. Interesting, even though I don't understand much of it. Reading the article suggests that the spark drag/drag spark system wasn't what Titanic had, but I could be wrong.

New P.J. O'Rourke

Found a new P.J. O'Rourke piece at the Weekly Standard. Apparently, P.J. went on vacation to Guadeloupe, an island in the Caribbean. While there, he surveys the EU draft constitution (all 485 pages of it) and finds journalistic advantage in not speaking the native language. Unfortunately, he's slowed down from the halycon days of Holidays in Hell, so there's no sort of Communist regime to make fun of, or anti-government protests in South Korea to partake of. Worse is the fact that there aren't any drugs, whiskey, or the like involved, either. Tee hee. Nevertheless, P.J.'s travelogues are always interesting, so go check it out.

McCain Musings

Mark over at Decision '08 has this article up analyzing the results on his John McCain poll. Now, Mark's a McCain '08 man, and I'm not, so keep that in mind as you read my remarks. This was supposed to be a comment, but ran too long. -The poll essentially asked what you'd do if John McCain were the Republican nominee in 2008. The winning answer choice was "wait and see the other nominees before deciding", with 32% of the vote. Call me crazy, but I'm not seeing where other nominees are going to arise, and this led to my rejection of this option. If McCain's the GOP nominee, what else is there to consider? It doesn't matter who the Democrats send up, I'm not going to vote for the Democrat. (Of course, if they send Mark Warner, I'll have to pray that George F. Allen is the Republican nominee. Otherwise, loyalty to Virginia could get very expensive from a political standpoint. I digress.) I suppose he's talking about third parties, but you'd think that no Republican would consider them. Then again, I'm not accustomed to dealing with political "independents"; reversing Pauline Kael, all my friends vote Republican.¹ I'm simply not sure what that response choice means, which is why I ignored it. -I'm pleased to note that my response, "hold my nose & vote for McCain" is the second choice, within the margin of error at 30%. Not that there was any actual error, but I'm trying to spin this. For the reasons I ramblingly laid out in "The McCain Bakery", I would vote McCain if he were to be the nominee. I see it as part of the deal each Republican makes when he steps up to the voting booth in the primaries. Put simply, "In the primaries, you will work for your man, and I will work for my man. In the general election, we will work for our man." One of the things that I regard as important in the transition from primary to general election is the expression of party unity and so forth, which I generally define as the defeated candidates pledging support to, and campaigning on behalf of, the nominated candidate.² In the context of the 2008 Presidential election, my theorem means that I will work to the very last for George F. Allen, assuming his candidacy. Once the Republican convention is over and a nominee is had, I will work for that nominee, whether it be John S. McCain or George F. Allen.³ I may not give the campaign equivalent of the last full measure of devotion---leave that to the winning candidate's loyalists---but I will certainly try to find an articulable reason to carry the flag for the GOP nominee. Just because your man isn't the lead locomotive doesn't mean that he's not needed somewhere else in the train. ---- ¹ That's not actually the truth, but it was too good of a line to pass up. ² I readily admit to, at one level, being horrified when reading what then-Governor George W. Bush said about how he, Bush, and his brother Jeb, would "sit on their hands" in Texas and Florida respectively if Steve Forbes were our party's nominee. Sure I understand---it's Steve Forbes for crying out loud; I haven't liked that guy ever---but to read those words was not a positive event. Handing the country to Al Gore is such a mark of political unity, Junior. What was that about loyalty? ³ I've been called a party hack in the past for articulating this viewpoint, but I don't think it wrong for the party which I more or less line up with to expect me to support its candidates. I may not always agree with the candidates my party machinery in Virginia and the several States have selected, but I'm remarkably reliable in doing something for them, even if it was simply speaking a favorable word to close friends. I do, however, specifically reserve the right to gripe, moan, complain, and otherwise grouse as I see fit. UPDATE: Mark's not a McCain man at this point in time. Says he: Oh, but Country Pundit, I'm not a McCain '08 man...I haven't declared my loyalty to any candidate yet (though if I had my choice so far, it would probably be Condi)... I regret the error. Sorry 'bout that.

Our Man in Zimbabwe

Courtesy of comments in a post at Samizdata, I've found a correspondent that keeps track of what's going on down in Robert Mugabe's little African paradise. The Zimbabwean Pundit covers things from (apparently) the capital of Zimbabwe, Harare. Inasmuch as I'd like to see Africa clean itself up and get on the economic development bandwagon, the fate of Zimbabwe is interesting to me. The United Methodist Church in Virginia has talked about sending sewing kits---apparently a pet project of the western end's UMC bureaucracy---to the people of Zimbabwe. Me, I agree with some of the commenters in that Samizdata thread; better to send automatic weapons, ammunition, and instructions for the disposal of an odious leader. Ahem. One harbors the notion, echoed by various sorts, that a well-placed TLAM or two dozen might be appropriate as the beginning of positive reform in that country. And no, I'm not interested in colonizing Zimbabwe, thank you. Like much of Africa, it's not worth the investment from a purely economic sense. (Jamming a thumb or two in the eye of the Red Chinese might, however, be worth it. We still owe them for that EP-3E.) Instead, my interest in Zimbabwe comes from that rather basic human decency that suggests that people should not suffer from famine, war, and social upheaval of the sort commonly found in Africa. You see, I'd much rather that innocents held in thrall by a corrupt thugocracy not starve or perish, thank you. I don't see any theoretical reason why NATO or the UN shouldn't hold Mugabe accountable at the point of a bayonet.

Korans in the Can?

Recently, a friend of mine asked for my opinion on the so-called "abuses" of the Islamic text known as the Koran and why I wasn't writing about it here. As Admiral J.T. Kirk will put it in about two hundred and eighty years, "Here it comes." My opinion is best put it in the form of a question: Why is it that I'm supposed to suck it up every time that some half-wit artist slurs my faith on my dime, but yet I'm supposed to understand and approve of Islamist "rage" when there are allegations that maybe a copy of the Islamic central text got flushed? I sense a great dichotomy in the Force. Ahem. I'm not writing about it because I don't care. A loathsome "artist" named Andres Serrano used Federal funds from the National Endowment for the Arts to create a work named "Piss Christ", wherein he filled a glass with his urine and then dipped a Roman Catholic crucifix into it.¹ There was of course outrage at this work, apparently led by Senators Jesse Helms (R-N.C.) and Alphonse D'Amato (R-N.Y.). Naturally, the defense was centered around "artistic freedom" and the like; those who opposed this blasphemous and vile work were labeled as neanderthals who wanted to crush the freedom of expression, or something like it. It's been nearly twenty years, but I daresay that the New York Times et cetera were in the vanguard of those howling "oppression" because Helms et al suggested that perhaps the Federal dollar should not be spent on such things. The "artsy" types back in my home town certainly would have rallied in defense of the artist, because there's a hidden clause in the Constitution that says that art, so long as it is offensive to Christians, is always good. That which offends the public morality of Christians is good, if you will.² The same controversy arose in the City of New York back in 1999, when Chris Ofili produced and exhibited a work that consisted of the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus, festooned with elephant manure. Then-NYC mayor Rudolph Guiliani publicly suggested that the grant for the Brooklyn Museum ought to be pulled. The American Civil Liberties Union of course swung into injunctive action, doing its evil best to defend this blasphemous work.³ Once again, the refrain was that Christians should get over it, that it's no big deal that two of the more central figures in the Christian pantheon are defaced for the sake of art. "Deal with it, you silly Christians! It's not important!" It is with the memories of this in my mind that I approach the stories of Koranic desecration and the reports of rioting.⁴ Much has been said by a variety of people about how it is a great tragedy that the Islamic central text. This has come from curious quarters, indeed. The same quarters that would suggest that I, as a Christian, have no right to complain about the "Piss Christ" are now suggesting that the Koran deserves some sort of protection because a bunch of suspected terrorists and/or Islamist combatants consider it an important text. In other words, I am supposed to shudder with rage because a guard at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, might not have treated this text with appropriate deference.⁵ I think not. If I'm supposed to applaud and genuflect my deeply held personal beliefs to the altar of artistic freedom when important aspects of my faith are tarred in the manner of Serrano and Ofili, then the "Arab street" can kindly do likewise. Therefore, I offer the following advice to the Department of Defense: Find a Mason jar amongst the troops at Guantanamo Bay. Fill it with urine, then dunk the Koran. Dub it the "Piss Koran", and have someone claim it as their artistic work. Give them some money from the NEA, get some general officer to write a memo opposing it, and talk Sean Hannity & Bill O'Reilly into attacking the work on their national radio programs. I guarantee that within a day, the intelligentsia of this nation will be defending the right of our warrior artists to their artistic freedoms. Moreover, the inevitable riots in the Arab world will be met with a sneering "tut tut" from the opinion-makers on high. It will allow us to make use of previously unexploited resources in prosecuting the war effort, and I would think that such would be a good thing. To rip off a quote from Admiral Motti, "Artistic freedom is now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it." ---- This post was inspired by the following entry at SoxBlog. I really need to find that song he's referencing. ¹ Roman Catholic crucifixes in general (and this one in particular) consist of a representation of the cross along with a figure of Jesus Christ. This is of course different from those that Protestants would be more familiar with, which do not include a figure of Jesus Christ. ² Additional witness to this is born by the divergent reactions to Martin Scorcese's The Last Temptation of Christ and Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ. The former was hailed by the cultural elites, while the latter was reviled. ³ In the process of researching this piece, I ran across an article from Inkwell relating the story of how the work no longer exists, due to a fire in a storage house. Ha ha. ⁴ I am unmoved by riots in response to the so-called "desecration" of the Islamic central text. These people will riot for any thing at any time; they have effectively cried 'wolf' ten or fifteen too many times. In retrospect, I would suggest that the the Islamic demonstration probably lost its moral effectiveness some time around the publication of Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses. As P.J. O'Rourke (approximately) put it, "A book critical of Islam was written by an Indian national and published in the United Kingdom. Naturally, the demonstrators burned the American flag outside American embassies." ⁵ When news of this broke, I asked myself the following question: "If someone was trying to interrogate you, and urinated upon a copy of the King James Version, how would you respond?" After a few seconds, it occurred to me: "I'd shrug. If they want to go ahead and punch their tickets on the Express Elevator to Hell, then let them. Considering what I know about torture methods used on prisoners, that's pretty tame."

Robby Gordon, Round Two

Earlier, I posted an irate defense of Robby Gordon in relation to his remarks about potential competitive advantages enjoyed by Miss Danica Patrick, an IRL rookie contender and eventual fourth-place finisher in the 2005 Indianapolis 500. In the article, I linked to several posts by other publications, noting a) uniform negativity on the part of the posts and b) a "considerable level of ignorance when it comes to motorsports" on the part of "many" posters and commenters. My remarks seem to have hit a nerve on the part of one of the named parties. Marc, of Full Throttle, stopped by and posted the following comment, reproduced in full: I note you linked my site as uniformly negative (Full Throttle), I'll take slight issue with that. Was I negative in how Gordon stated what he did? Yes, but not just because of this incident. He has a long history of making ill advised comments. So much so his sponsors have required contract language that protects them from Gordons occasional rantings. I did generaly agree with the substance of what he said. I don't agree the advantage given is much to worry about. Example: You cite a fuel mileage advantage. Well where was it. Patrick ran low on fuel, turned down the boost and it cost her 2 positions in the final standings. Advantage given by a 0.8 differential in qual speeds? That difference amounts to about 60 feet from the pole position and the outside of the fourth row, hardly significant. And then there is this little shot given by you: "A lot of bloggers rallied to Ms. Patrick's defense, usually focusing upon ad hominem insults towards Mr. Gordon. Additionally, it seems that many posters and commenters display a considerable level of ignorance when it comes to motorsports" Followed up by this: "The estimated number of turns involved in the Indianapolis 500 has been revised; the track is 2.5 miles long and the race is 500 miles; 200 laps are necessary. 200x4=800. I had previously estimated off the cuff that it was 500 laps in length, which would lead to the earlier 2,000. The error is regretted." Regrettable? No it just shows how disengaged you are from Indy and the IRL in general. That would be called pot-kettle-black. And now, the response: First off, I'd like to thank Marc for stopping by and commenting. Since I don't have any ad revenues, traffic and interaction is the payoff for this publication. Yee haw. Secondly, I stand by my decision to count Marc's article as "negative". The clear text of the article is, to put it mildly, not complimentary of Mr. Gordon. A few choice selections: -Because [Robby Gordon's] as dumb as a box of Vanilla Waffers! -I guess it hasn’t entered into this mental midgets mind that there is a minimum weight for Indy Cars. (The factual error regarding IRL weight policy was corrected and noted in a subsequent update.) -But Gordon is still stuuuupid! (This was included in the update noting the real IRL weight policy.) Somehow, I for whatever reason do not see Marc's 'general agreement' with what Mr. Gordon said. Perhaps it's buried somewhere in the box of vanilla wafers, like a Cracker Jack toy surprise. As for Ms. Patrick's theoretical fuel economy advantage versus her actual performance (nearly running out of fuel, as things would have it) all I can say is that perhaps she didn't drive the thing intelligently. And yet she finished fourth. I would suggest that superior equipment and her unique competitive advantage would allow her a greater margin of error than would be available to the average driver, but that's a subject for the mathematicians, which I'm not. With regards to the value of sixty feet, I suggest that Marc (and anyone else) ask Bobby Labonte if he'd like to have had an additional six feet at the 2005 Coca-Cola 600. You might not think that sixty feet matters in a race of several hundred miles, but it does: Sixty feet can be the difference between being unavoidably caught up in a wreck or slipping through unscathed. In motorsports, it's the little things that matter. Marc also takes exception to my remarks regarding the ignorance of posters and commenters, noting with what I assume is glee the fact that I had made a mistake on the number of laps (and thus the number of turns) in the Indianapolis 500. My reply? "Come off it." In the flood of "Danica's hot; Robbie's fat!" posts and comments, I detected very few responses that addressed the substance of Mr. Gordon's remarks. It took considerable amounts of digging to find the Penske numbers quoted anywhere. I found, on the other hand, a lot of people throwing insults at Mr. Gordon. I fail to see the equivalence between minor factual confusion and insults devoid of any grounding in motorsports. Asking "What does the '500' in 'Indianapolis 500' refer to, the number of miles it covers or the number of laps?" doesn't seem to be such a major problem, as opposed to people who line up to heap abuse on Robby Gordon, but would have a hard time distinguishing a Nextel Cup stock car from a Formula 1 machine. It's also worth noting that as far as factual (but corrected and openly admitted) errors go, Marc thought that fuel was counted in the IRL's weight calculation. I don't consider his error to be significant either; it takes a certain level of knowledge of the sport to even get to the point where you worry about such errors. Furthermore, it's a good thing that he corrected the article, and openly said so, to boot. However, I think it worth noting by way of response to his criticism. I wonder if his error shows his 'disengagement' with Indianapolis and the Indy Racing League in general. UPDATE: I found this post over at Catallarchy which goes in a slightly different direction, but make of it what you will. Thanks to the Cold Spring Shops for the pointer.

We're On The Map!

This just in: Comrade Commissar has seen fit to include this publication in his latest cartographic effort, seen here. This time, the map shows members of the Coalition of the Chillin'. Your humble correspondent is pleasantly surprised to find his publication ensconced in the place once reserved for the city/empire of Trabzon. That being said, I'm wondering if I'm supposed to place any signficance in the particular location assigned to the publication; perhaps Comrade Commissar's trying to subtly send a message. Tee hee. NB: It had occurred to me that Trabzon occupied a place perhaps similar to Gondor and Minas Tirith, holding back the evils of the foreign lands. Or perhaps not; I after all don't look a thing like Denethor and I don't have a palantir. Much thanks to Comrade Commissar.

Revenge of the Star Wars Quizzes

This one, from Ryan James:

You scored as Darth Vader. Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Tee hee.

Putting the 'Country' in 'Country Pundit'

Friends and neighbors, your humble correspondent is a life-long fan of the old television program, The Dukes of Hazzard. Heck, who wouldn't be? Fast car, good hearts, "two modern-day Robin Hoods", and a fight against a corrupt local bureaucrat who has his pudgy little fingers in everything. Why do we care, you ask. Put shortly, I'm going to be out of town and on the road this weekend, 'cause I'm headed to DukesFest at the Bristol Motor Speedway in Tennessee. Yep, that's right. Your correspondent, a man of (desired) wealth and (questionable) taste is going to be surrounded by a lot of people from Flyover Country, and he will love every minute of it. It's not every day that I get the opportunity to revel in something like this, so I'm rather happy to be going. I'm hopin' to get an autograph of John Schneider---that's all the budget's going to allow--and probably some pictures of various General Lee-configured Dodge Chargers, along with soakin' up the atmosphere provided by lots of fans of this delightful series from the early 1980s. As Hunter Thompson wouldn't have put it, those folks are good people. In honor of this nifty occasion, I've gone and taken a ubiquitous Quizilla quiz, yielding the following result:
You are Bo Duke. You are caring and carefree. You
suffer from the "Peter Pan Syndrome"
and it doesn't look like you'll be growing up
anytime soon.

What Dukes of Hazzard Character are you? Y'all have a good weekend; I can't guarantee any sort of weekend schedule. If all goes well, perhaps I'll have a report or two for public consumption in the near future.

Ben Stein Strikes Back

Ben Stein has weighed in on the revelation that W. Mark Felt was the infamous anonymous source "Deep Throat". Mr. Stein's piece is more of the sort that I was expecting to hear. Would that I could have heard G. Gordon Liddy on the subject; it might have actually been worth listening to, unlike his radio program. Mark at Decision '08 calls this piece "appallingly bad". I disagree, but let's take a look at the article: Can anyone even remember now what Nixon did that was so terrible? He ended the war in Vietnam, brought home the POW's, ended the war in the Mideast, opened relations with China, started the first nuclear weapons reduction treaty, saved Eretz Israel's life, started the Environmental Protection Administration. Does anyone remember what he did that was bad? Some on my side of the aisle might say that starting the EPA was "bad", but put that aside for a moment. The 1973 Paris Peace Accords were, probably, a good thing. Retrieving a majority of our POWs is unarguably a good thing. Ending the Yom Kippur war and saving the state of Israel can, I think, be counted as good things. Diplomatic relations with the People's Republic of China put another pistol to the head of the Soviet Union, and that's a good thing. Whether that was a good idea now is another issue for another article. Reducing the numbers of atomic weapons is another one of these probably good things.¹ Now cometh the snark: Oh, now I remember. He lied. He was a politician who lied. How remarkable. He lied to protect his subordinates who were covering up a ridiculous burglary that no one to this date has any clue about its purpose. He lied so he could stay in office and keep his agenda of peace going. That was his crime. He was a peacemaker and he wanted to make a world where there was a generation of peace. And he succeeded. Mr. Stein is a tad off here---the purpose of the break-in at the DNC HQ in the Watergate Hotel was to gather intelligence on what Lawrence F. O'Brien and others were up to. The 'agenda of peace' bit may be true, but I'm not entirely sure that's what we elect a President to do. It does, however, sound nice. It also rings true to Nixon's remark in his Inaugural Address that "the greatest honor history can bestow is that of peacemaker". As for succeeding in the generation of peace, I suppose that's a defensible remark; Nixon had lived through both of the World Wars, and compared to that, the relatively small brushfire wars of the late 1960s and 1970s weren't of much account. Mr. Stein also takes some shots at John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson, which delights me to no end, but I suggest reading them courtesy of the Spectator. Mark's displeased with Stein's assertion that Nixon's enemies caused the fall of South Vietnam and the "killing fields" of Cambodia under Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. I see these as more-or-less defensible. We know that RN didn't mind turning the Democratic Republic of Vietnam into a moonscape; this after all is the man who reportedly said, "We're going to bomb the bastards like they've never been bombed before", and promptly did so during Operation LINEBACKER II. "Nixon's enemies" were able to derail efforts to assist the Republic of Vietnam during the resumed efforts of the DRV to conquer it. Thus, I think it's defensible to lay responsibility for the RVN's fall at the feet of the anti-war majority in the Congress at the time. The Cambodian question is a bit more difficult. I'm not going to get into it deeply, but I agree with Stein. Had RN been in office, I bet the Khmer Rouge would have been on the receiving end of a few Stratofortress sorties. Heck, we were already bombing Cambodia in the 1970s, so it wouldn't have been that hard. Nevertheless, both instances were examples of where the American government was paralyzed either as a direct result of the Watergate process or still recovering from it, with a triumphantly anti-Nixon Congress asserting itself against the prerogatives of the President. I don't believe, based upon my understanding of RN, that he would have let the RVN or the Cambodian people go down in flames had he been either a) not bogged down in the defense of his Administration or b) hamstrung by the anti-war types in the Congress. The bogging and hamstringing pretty much occurred courtesy of the Watergate investigations and the subsequent 1974 election results. I find it hard to believe that a portion of the blame can't be laid at Felt's feet for this. Had he not acted out of what amounts to a spoiled brat mentality, then perhaps Saigon wouldn't be Ho Chi Minh City, and the name "Pol Pot" might be some sort of weird name for a kitchen appliance, instead of a blood-soaked name in history. Mr. Stein closes with a rhetorical flourish that I'd consider worthy of Christopher Hitchens, were he a Nixon loyalist. The whole piece is, I think, a proper salvo against the Cult of Felt that is probably en route to being erected. ---- ¹ If you've read Tom Clancy's The Sum of All Fears, you might know why I'm not sure that reductions in the numbers of nuclear weapons are good things. In a nutshell, given the advances in ICBM/SLBM technology, the US/USSR had the ability to start thinking about counterforce strategy, i.e. killing our/their missiles in the silos. When you combine the ability to kill missiles in the silo (a function of accuracy more than yield) with a declining number of targets (through missile reductions) then a crippling first strike becomes plausible. That may, as Clancy's Soviet flag officer put it, increase the probability of a nuclear exchange, even if it's one-sided. That isn't very reassuring. Normally, I tend to be rather flippant about the things---embracing Derbyshire's "I don’t see how you can ever have enough nukes" position---but when push comes to shove, I don't like the bomb.

Manning Makes News

Recent find Laurin Manning has been featured in a piece dubbed "Citizen Web", published in the Free Times, a "free alternative weekly" operating out of Columbia, South Carolina. The piece is on South Carolina bloggers in general, and includes a couple of others in the write-ups. Money quote: "[F]reewheeling, personal touch that gives her site its character and makes it a true blog." I wholeheartedly agree. Plus, she actually uses the word "y'all" in typewritten text. That's classic. Congratulations, Miss Manning.

Narnia Fun

A chap named Colossus has compiled the "Top Ten Signs that Disney is Involved in the New "Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe Movie" Sample quote: "9. Instead of turning dissenting animals to stone, The White Witch turns them into little barrels of oil for her monstrous white SUV." Read the whole thing. Tip of the Executor hat to the Llama Butchers.

What'd She Want to Hear?

Rocketing around the blogroll this morning, I found "Waaa, Waaa Watergate" from our source in the Palmetto State.¹ Apparently, Patrick J. Buchanan and Charles W. Colson were on the National Broadcasting Company's Today program to discuss the revelation that W. Mark Felt was the source known as "Deep Throat" for Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein at the Washington Post. Laurin notes that she was "appalled" by both their responses, but while she "expected nothing less from Buchanan", she was looking for something else from Colson. Additionally: This would have been the perfect opportunity for the Nixon folks to exhibit decency, aplomb, and maturity while welcoming closure to the Watergate scandal. They miserably failed to do so. Set aside for a minute two things: a) I haven't the foggiest as to what Buchanan & Colson said; a transcript would be appreciated, and b) interviewees are often held hostage to the interviewer's angle; inasmuch as I regard Katie Couric and Matt Lauer as subpar journalists, I'd imagine that it's hard for people to rise above their mediocrity. Send Colson et al to Charlie Rose and we'll see what happens. My question for Laurin is this: What words would you have wanted to hear? I understand (broadly) the sentiments that she expresses, but I'll be darned if I can actually put text to them. It may be that I'm too busy clenching a fist and cursing the name of Mark Felt to figure it out myself, but then that's all the more reason for her to put words in Colson's mouth instead of me. I'm just having a hard time figuring out what charitable utterances could be reasonably expected from the men who had to ride out the receiving end of the firestorm fed by Mark Felt's actions. Had I been in the position of Colson or others who received prison time, I bet my reaction would have involved a couple of uses of the now-famous [Expletive Deleted] device. For what it's worth, I heard Colson on All Things Considered yesterday, and he seemed surprisingly restrained for a man that served time in prison for the affair. He actually says that he's grateful for the period, because it led to his religious conversion and the beginning of his prison ministry program. It was, I suppose, about as gracious a statement as could be expected. Go figure. ---- ¹ Somewhere, there is irony in the facts that both the Commonwealth of Virginia and the State of South Carolina are deemed "red" States by virtue of their voting patterns, but both of them have blue flags.

J-Pod Strikes Back Out

The loathsome John Podhoretz writes: In its second week at the boxoffice, ROTS's take fell 50 percent from the first week. This is significant because it indicates word of mouth on the movie is lousy and that those who went to see it the first week aren't making a return trip (second and third viewings are the reasons a movie takes the leap from success to blockbuster). Bah. I may be the only refutation of Mr. Podhoretz, but I can say with confidence that I've seen The Movie three times so far, and I intend to go several more times. Three viewings either surpasses or ties my record for Attack of the Clones, and stands second in the overall personal record of "Number of Times Seeing a Movie in Theaters".¹ Maybe Podhoretz is just trying to be the contrarian. I don't know for sure, despite reading most of his annoying verbiage on the subject. Enh, who cares? Not every contributor to the National Review is on the order of John Derbyshire, who himself is not faultless. ---- ¹ The holder of the all-time record is The Phantom Menace, with between seven and ten viewings, all at the same theater. I saw it numerous times hoping that a good movie would somehow emerge. Much like the kid shoveling manure in hopes of finding a pony, I too was disappointed in the end.

The McCain Bakery

There's a new poll up at Decision '08. Go take it, it's on the top of the page. In the spirit of full disclosure, I selected "hold my nose and vote for [Arizona Republican John S. McCain, III]". In the comments section to the post announcing the poll, I wrote the following: I'd vote for him, holding my nose, complaining, and griping all the while. I believe that some measure of conservative influence could be exerted on him, certainly more than if some nationally-prominent Democrat were in the office. It's the bread and butter of politics; half a loaf is more preferable than no loaf, regardless of what Robert M. LaFollette might have said about the subject. It's an academic discussion, anyways; everyone knows that George Allen's going to be the nominee and President. No, I'm not biased, ha ha. I wrote that and I stand by it, even the part that says George Allen's going to be the next President. (He's a Virginian, I'm a Virginian, do the math...) Now, I suppose some may ask why it is that I'd go holding my nose, complaining, griping, and yet still vote for McCain. My reasoning is simple: There are structural advantages inherent in our political system that reward the party holding office, without regards to the details of the office holder's expression of the party's ideology. You can't take the Republican out of a President McCain, which is what I'm relying upon. A theoretical President John S. McCain would not be able to install intellectual clones of his in every single Presidential appointment. Similarly, he could not nominate too many Democrats to prominent posts while leaving qualified Republicans waiting in the wings simply in the name of bipartisanship.¹ The theoretical President McCain would, sooner or later, have to dip into the well of Republicans to fill posts, if he sought to have his nominees confirmed.² Set aside for a minute the fact that John McCain would probably go on the media offensive with his particular brand of passive-aggressive warfare the instant a Republican Senate did anything that he determined to be feet-dragging.³ Regardless of what he or his supporters might think, John McCain can not operate "in the center" by continuous formation of triangulated coalitions. Bill Clinton managed it for a while, but he was blessed with advantages that McCain does not have.⁴ A legislative strategy that relies upon the breaking of ranks in both parties is terribly unsound, in my opinion. I don't believe our system is set up to permit such a thing: Sooner or later, party discipline would be reasserted and the defectors on either side would be punished. When this happens, McCain's operational center would evaporate, and he would have to come home to the Republican Party to continue his agenda. Therein lies our half loaf. If Republicans are in the majority, then he'd have to consult with the party because he could just about count on unified Democratic opposition. "John McCain supports free food for the poor and universal health care? Well, we don't." In such a circumstance, he would have no choice but to come back to the GOP for support. If Republicans are in the minority---horrors!---then the same would be true. He would have to, at some level, give the Republicans a seat at the bargaining table in order to hold any semblance of party discipline. After all, there's no reason to march in lockstep if total defeat is inevitable; better to present a unified front in the hopes of getting at least a few of your concerns addressed. From a movement conservative's viewpoint, this kind of calculation is probably intolerable. A McCain presidency would probably not be marked by wholesale enactments of legislation hot off the presses from the Cato Institute, the Heritage Foundation, or the Family Research Council. However, the possibility of enacting some of the legislation exists, and that possibility is larger under a Republican President than a Democratic President. There might not be any grand slams for four runs hit during a McCain Administration, but we'd be on the field putting guys on base and playing what George F. Will might recognize as the steady production of runs through the methodical advancement of runners. That's half a loaf, and I'll take it. Robert M. LaFollette reportedly criticized "half a loaf" because it dulled the appetitite for the whole loaf. He said this to justify his unyielding positions and refusal to compromise. By his theory, Republicans should settle for "no loaf" and refuse to vote McCain in 2008 if it comes to that. (I hope it doesn't.) Call me a party hack---a friend of mine does---but I think I'd much rather have half a loaf on a daily basis than a whole loaf every so often. It is better, I think, that our people are in power. With the McCain Bakery, we have the hope of half a loaf. With the Clinton Bakery, there is no hope of any loaf. We won't even get asked if we want crumbs. ---- ¹ I have no inherent opposition to this practice other than to say that it should be carefully and considerately done, with the potential for concrete rewards being more than just a spirit of good feeling and/or praise from the New York Times or Washington Post editorial boards. Daniel Patrick Moynihan's term during the Nixon Administration is my ideal of the way to go about this; William Cohen's term as Clinton Adminstration Secretary of Defense is the polar opposite of it. I'm still not sure why Cohen was nominated, although I can understand---in the model of say Lloyd Cutler and Charles F.C. Ruff that when the President calls, you say "Yes, sir" and do your duty. ² This is of course contingent on a Republican majority in the Senate. A Senate helmed by Harry Reid would of course change the math. I don't have sufficient information to project how a President McCain would handle a Democratic Senate. Like Han Solo, I'm tryin' not to think about it. ³ This is my primary complaint against John McCain, that he doesn't seem to deal well with reasonable disagreement. Suppose for a minute that I, John McCain, and some other friends were in New York City in the 1950s, trying to figure out how to go to Chicago, and were going to take a train to do so. McCain suggests taking the New York Central's 20th Century Limited. I, preferring the service provided on the Pennsylvania Railroad's Broadway Limited, suggest taking it to Chicago. Now it's up to the group to decide which train to take. McCain's reaction isn't going to suggest that reasonable people have differences of opinion and that while there's a perfectly reasonable case for the Broadway Limited, the Century is preferable. Oh no, not John McCain. He's going to come out and say something on the order of, "My friends, my friends. I believe we should take the Century because it is the best available means of transportation. And oh by the way, Country Pundit over here only suggests the Broadway because he's a dishonest moral reprobate who is in thrall to the Philadelphia interests which hold seats on the Pennsylvania's board of directors." He pulled that little stunt far too many times during the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform debate. I opposed campaign finance reform and took the line of the National Review (as best I remember) because I was worried about serious inequalities in the grants of power given to the established media outlets. I was not, as it were, on anyone's payroll, and I wasn't some corrupt thing oozing my way through K Street and the halls of power. It was an honest difference of opinion, but McCain didn't see it that way. I don't exactly enjoy being fired upon by fellow Republicans, but John McCain seems to have an interest in lining the walls of his office with the heads of other Republicans. I don't have time for that mentality. ⁴ Among them, a largely compliant media landscape that is dead and gone at this point and an apparent lack of inflexible principles. Whether Clinton simply could put a good face on defeat or was an unprincipled man---both are possible---I don't see McCain being the kind of man who could swing triangulation for long. It takes a wheeling, dealing, not afraid to trade anything mindset. McCain's style seems to be more on the order of "Let me tell you what you'll be giving up to get my support".

How Things Change - The FRCP & Me

Inspired by Laurin Manning: 24th February 2004: YOU ARE RULE 11! You were designed to make sure that attorneys in federal cases make reasonable inquiries into fact or law before submitting pleadings, motions, or other papers. You were a real hardass in 1983, when you snuffed out all legal creativity from federal proceedings and embarassed well-meaning but overzealous attorneys. You loosened up a bit in 1993, when you began allowing plaintiffs to make allegations in their complaints that are likely to have evidenciary support after discovery, and when you allowed a 21 day period for the erring attorney to withdraw the errant motion. Sure, you keep everything running on the up and up, but it's clear that things would be a lot more fun without you around. --- 30th May 2005: YOU ARE RULE 8(a)! You are Rule 8, the most laid back of all the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. While your forefather in the Federal Rules may have been a stickler for details and particularity, you have clearly rebelled by being pleasant and easy-going. Rule 8 only requires that a plaintiff provide a short and plain statement of a claim on which a court can grant relief. While there is much to be lauded in your approach, your good nature sometimes gets you in trouble, and you often have to rely on your good friend, Rule 56, to bail you out.

Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla --- I'm sure that there's a psych type in the audience who could explain this to me. Please take the opportunity to do so; it's always fun hearing those sorts of explanations. Meanwhile, I'll be mourning the apparent destruction of my car's CD player. How'm I supposed to drive down the road listening to Lisa Gerrard or Liz Phair? Thank God the radio still works; if I couldn't get the local NPR affiliate and others, I'd probably be inspired to do "something rash", as an annoying protocol droid once put it.

General Veers' Report

"Com scan has detected an energy field protecting an area of the third planet on the Sol system. The field is strong enough to deflect European bombardment." The thrust of this article might be obvious, but if it's not, here's the deal: The EU Constitutions fall to 0-2 in the 2005 season, losing this time to the Dutch Hedonists in regulation play, 61-39. OK, all kidding aside, the Dutch said 'No' to the EU constitution for whatever reason, and I don't have anyone on the ground in the Netherlands to explain it to me. CNN has the article that I turned to. It's got an amusing quote from the Dutch PM, a chap named an Peter Balkenende: ""The Dutch voters have a clear and uncomplimentary solution, and we will have to respect the voters' choice. No means no, and this is the choice of the people." I don't know what his definition of "uncomplimentary" in this instance is---be fair, English is probably his second or third language---but I hear a whiff of "The people have spoken, the bastards".¹ I'm sure his media guys were not happy with him essentially calling the Dutch voters stupid. At any rate, hopefully this means that this pitiful European rebellion will be crushed with one swift stroke, and the Old World nations can get on with the process of market reforms et cetera so that they're capable of playing a meaningful role against serious concerns, like the Islamists. Pull their own weight, such as it were. This is pleasant news at the end of the day. ¹ Reportedly attributed to Mark Twain, but I heard that it attributed to Dick Tuck, a dirtbag operative for the Democratic Party active from the 1950s until the 1970s. Theme for this post gratuitously stolen from The Llama Butchers.

Robby Gordon v. Danica Patrick

It has come to my attention that Kelley of Suburban Blight has taken issue with Robby Gordon over his comments regarding possible unfair competitive advantages enjoyed by Indy Racing League rookie driver Danica Patrick. Kelley accuses Mr. Gordon of, among other things, being a "loser" and a wimp" because of his remarks. For what it's worth, I'll throw my two cents in on the subject. I agree with Mr. Gordon's comments, and wholly disagree with Kelley's. The issue is whether Mr. Gordon's position, that Ms. Patrick enjoys an unfair competitive advantage, is warranted. The point of having a sanctioning body for a given motorsport is to ensure fair competition, where driver versus driver is the defining competition. The means to acheiving this end usually involve some sort of standardization of the other half of the racing component, the car. The International Race of Champions (popularly known as "IROC") is one example of this. Quoting from their website: Take 12 of the world's top drivers, from different types of racing, put them in identically prepared IROC race cars, give them a set of rules which virtually eliminates the variables usually associated with racing (no pit stops, no qualifying, no driver set-up of the cars, etc.) and wave a green flag at them. In my opinion, the other end is represented by Formula 1, wherein the technological side is equal to, if not superior to, the driver's skills in importance. I would suggest that most other asphalt-based motorsports are somewhere in between. This includes the Indy Racing League and NASCAR, two American-based series. With those preliminaries aside, let us consider the question of whether Ms. Patrick enjoys an unfair competitive advantage. An unfair competitive advantage can be many things, from a fuel cell that holds more fuel than the sanctioning body allows, to a more powerful engine than allowed, or any other thing that goes outside the boundaries of that particular series' rules. I do not, however, suggest that strict adherence to the letter of the law is the sole standard; I would prefer that something above and beyond mere rote compliance be sought. The general rule in motorsport is that a lighter car is usually preferable. A lighter car confers several advantages, some of which are detailed below: 1. Acceleration 2. Fuel economy 3. Braking 4. Handling Any one of these four factors alone can be determinative of success in any given race; in essence, they are the heart of what a car builder strives for. Ms. Patrick enjoys advantages in each of these categories due to her relatively low (100 pounds) weight when compared to the weight of other IRL drivers. In detail: Acceleration - Given roughly equivalent horsepower, gearing, driver reaction times and aerodynamics, a lighter car will always out-accelerate a heavier car. Acceleration is important throughout a race, for the following reasons. First, when a start occurs, the lighter car will be able to close in faster on the cars ahead of it, or more quickly open a gap between it and the cars behind. In a late-race restart, these sort of intervals can be crucial. Secondly, the lighter car will respond better in turns. Normally, drivers brake to some degree when entering a turn, either through active braking or by simply backing off the throttle. The lighter car will be able to regain speed more quickly than a heavier car when coming out of a turn. Inasmuch as most races involve a number of turns (roughly 2,000 800 at the course hosting the Indianpolis 500), quicker acceleration out of the turns can be crucial. Fuel Economy - Fuel economy is usually quantified as the amount of laps that a given car can go on its load of fuel. Here again, Ms. Patrick's weight is valuable to her. The IRL mandates that all cars must weight 1,525 pounds before driver and fuel are added. Given that cars probably have a fixed maximum amount of fuel, driver weight is the only remaining variable. Once again, assume equivalent cars in terms of horsepower, gearing, driver reaction times, and aerodynamics. Also assume that the two cars are driven in the same manner. The lighter car will have better fuel economy than the heavier car, and will probably be able to complete more laps per fueling. To obtain the same speeds as the lighter car, the heavier car will need to be driven with a higher rate of fuel consumption, thus shortening the number of laps available to the latter car. Such an advantage, if used properly, can be devastating. Cars that run out of fuel generally do not win races. Braking - The ability to brake is vital in any race that involves turning. A lighter car will have less inertia entering a turn, thus reducing the amount of braking force required to successfully negotiate a turn. This translates into less wear and tear on the brake system, along with other advantages. Ms. Patrick theoretically will require a shorter braking period and will be able to come off of that shorter braking period taking advantage of her superior acceleration as she exits the turn. Once again, this sort of circumstance can be of tremendous advantage to a driver, as the driver would be able to either gain ground on those ahead or open the gap between the following cars. Handling - Altering a vector (i.e. changing direction) is an action which requires sufficient force to overcome inertia. The greater the inertia of a given object, the greater the force required to alter its vector. A given object's inertia is generally equivalent to its mass. As the Wikipedia puts it, "An object with small inertial mass changes its motion more readily, and an object with large inertial mass does so less readily." Ms. Patrick's car, having less mass than those of her competitors, will change its motion/alter its vector more easily. Her steering burden, if you will, is less than that of her competitors over the course of the race. For the foregoing reasons, I believe that Mr. Gordon's remarks are entirely justified and that Ms. Patrick possesses an unfair competitive advantage. A car driven by Ms. Patrick would perform better than the same car driven by someone else, due to Ms. Patrick's weight disparity. Kelley also makes several assertions in her article that I consider either inaccurate or unwarranted. -Comparison of the Indy Racing League to the circumstance of Annika Sorenstam is unwarranted. To properly establish a comparison between Sorenstam and Patrick, Ms. Sorenstam would somehow be able to hit the ball harder than say Vijay Singh, benefit from using a lighter ball, and perhaps have shorter distances of play. The advantage that Ms. Patrick may enjoy could be of that magnitude. -Mr. Gordon did not participate in the 2005 Indianapolis 500 not because of Ms. Patrick, but because of pre-existing commitments to his NASCAR Nextel Cup team which was racing in Concord, North Carolina. Mr. Gordon has raced in both the Indianapolis 500 and the Coca-Cola 600 for the past four years, and was prevented from doing so this year only because of a change in the Indianapolis 500's starting time. The CNN/SI article is incomplete in this respect. In summary, I believe that Mr. Gordon's opinion was warranted. Yahoo! News has this article dealing with the issue. I would regard calculations coming from the Penske organization as highly reliable, due to their long-standing tradition of technical excellence in motorsports. Examining the starting grid, it appears that 0.8MPH is significant. A difference of 0.8MPH in qualifying speeds is the difference between starting from the pole and starting in eighth place. In motorsports, miniature advantages matter greatly. If the IRL asked me, I would suggest that a rule change would be necessary. Weigh the car (1,525 pounds) with an equal load of fuel for every car and the individual driver in it. Measure that all-inclusive figure against a "Standard Car Weight", and either add or remove ballast as necessary to meet that figure. However, it appears from the Yahoo! article that the IRL is not contemplating a rule change at this point in time. UPDATE: As usual, I'm behind on the news cycle, but I don't care. A lot of bloggers rallied to Ms. Patrick's defense, usually focusing upon ad hominem insults towards Mr. Gordon. Additionally, it seems that many posters and commenters display a considerable level of ignorance when it comes to motorsports, but then that shouldn't be surprising. It is, after all, the blogosphere we're talking about. I'm pleasantly amused by the fact that the oh-so-intelligent blogosphere can't even spell Mr. Gordon's first name right. I do, however, also note that a couple of people took the basic line that I did, pointing out that Mr. Gordon's position was pretty much defensible. They were of course shouted down, but that doesn't change the fact that I think they're right. I'd be interested in knowing the split in opinion between those who are veteran fans of the sport, and those whose knowledge of the sport began with a FHM pictorial for Danica Patrick. Put bluntly, would Ms. Patrick be so aggressively defended if she wasn't considered to be attractive? I think not. Anyways, here's some of the reaction, uniformly negative: Backcountry Conservative Outside the Beltway Wizbang Kevin Drum Full Throttle Doug Petch The Q Speaks Don Singleton I'm still looking for actual posts that defend Mr. Gordon. Click here to see what Technorati has to say about it all. UPDATE II: OK, I found something from The Unofficial Everybody's NASCAR Nextel Cup Blog. This fellow seems to have a solid handle on the situation. There might even be a case of some good old fashioned media bias or ulterior motives. Yee haw. Also, this fellow has some mathematical figuring that supports my findings. So far as I know, it's the only mathematical work that anyone's done, other than "Robbie (sic) needs to lose weight!!!!!" Here is another individual not buying into the hype regarding Ms. Patrick. -The estimated number of turns involved in the Indianapolis 500 has been revised; the track is 2.5 miles long and the race is 500 miles; 200 laps are necessary. 200x4=800. I had previously estimated off the cuff that it was 500 laps in length, which would lead to the earlier 2,000. The error is regretted. UPDATE III: It seems that even the National Review crowd is getting into this. Kathryn Jean Lopez weighs in, favorably quoting the following: This guy sounds right: "I thought race car drivers were real men, not whining children. So, this woman weighs less because she is a woman. The men are probably physically stronger because they are men. Should their steering be adjusted to make it harder for them to turn because they have this strength advantage over a woman driver because they are probably stronger than she is? " Her correspondent is wrong. As I laid out earlier in the Handling section, Ms. Patrick's car would not require as much force to overcome its inertia. Any "strength gap" would probably be nullified. Oh, and by the way: IRL cars probably use power steering, to boot. The small size of the steering wheels and the small driver's cockpit doesn't leave a lot of room to work with in terms of steering motion.

A Newish Erie Lackawanna Website

You can't be a railfan from the East Coast and not have run across the Erie Lackawanna in some shape or fashion. Heck, when I first got into railroad enthusiasm, I didn't know a blessed thing about much other than the Norfolk and Western, but I soon found out about "The Route of Phoebe Snow". Trains paid tribute to the Erie Lackawanna Railway in the March 2005 issue with a nice article about the line's fate after 1960, which saw the merger of the Erie Railroad with the Delaware, Lackawanna & Western Railroad. Additional tribute---maybe---was delivered later in the issue by dubbing the EL the Marcia Brady of Conrail. Once I stopped laughing, I realized that their reasons made sense, from the Kenobi certain point of view; the EL is beloved far beyond its geographic scope, and in large part due to the exterior appearance (much like Maureen McCormick, who got better as time went on) of their locomotives. People are suckers for gray, maroon, and yellow. Anyways, back to the point of the post: I've found a new EL website, and it's located here. It's about two weeks old, and looks like the possible start of something pleasant. Here's to the Friendly Service Route.

Er, Right

Rongorongo (Easter Island, C.E. 1800) You are RONGORONGO. You are the script of the
language Rapanui. The language is still spoken,
but no one can read the script. Are you
ideographic? Phonetic? Ideo-phonetic?
Hieroglyphic? A comic strip? Illustrations for
a fairy tale? No one knows.

Which Indecipherable Script Are You? Er, right. Uhh, hey Beavis... Confused tip of the Executor hat to Comrade Commissar.

Supporting the War Economy

Buy Liberty bonds! Buy something, anything! Keep the consumer confidence index soaring, or else the terrorists will win! Ahem. Line item addendum to the FY2005 non-discretionary spending package: One Bewitched - The Complete First Season (Black and White) Expected date of expenditure: 21st June 2005 Funds allocated and earmarked. That is all. UPDATE: Oh, crumbs. Four other season sets are out for programs that I enjoyed, and I'm going to have to sell someone's kidneys to finance them all: -Danger Mouse -The Lone Gunmen -The Job -Airwolf Such a 1980s focus, but darn it, television was watchable back then! And I still have yet to find and buy the Buck Rogers season set. Colonel Deering'll never forgive me. JohnL, you be quiet. UPDATE, 06 JUNE 2005: Scratch The Job off the list. Add multiple seasons of The Dukes of Hazzard and Knight Rider. 1980s machine-centric network TV lives. The more this DVD thing runs along, the more I think that it's an example of the maxim that "God loves us and wants us to be happy".

The Coward Reveals Himself

W. Mark Felt, you dirtbag. He didn't get the job he wanted, so he saw fit to visit the specter of the Watergate era upon the United States of America. Mr. Felt, I have nothing but contempt for you and your motives. Tip of the Executor hat to Laurin Manning. At least, I think it was she who posted it.

Several New Destinations

The TC&P Ry. Co., in the interest of serving the public, has announced several new destinations for the electronic traveler: -The Sheila Variations. Sheila makes list for a variety of reasons, but a single post nails it: She reads Robert Conquest on J.V. Stalin at 0300, and likes it. Hiiiiiiiiiighball. -No Such Blog. The series on Pan Am is reason enough to make a station stop. Plus, NSB connects us to... -The LaurinLine. Not to be confused with the Springmaid Line. This particular publication is run by a pleasant-seeming young woman who hails from South Carolina, out of Darlington County. Or maybe that's Dahlintun, unless I'm mixing my South Boston with South Carolina in terms of accents. Post of note: "Pirate Keyboard"

Pan Am Article Series

The first airline that I can accurately recall hearing of was Pan American World Airways. I can't say why, because my place of residence has never been close to Pan Am service, even after their acquisition of National Airlines in the early 1980s. The first toy airplane that I can remember is, likewise, a Pan Am Boeing 747-100 (or -200), purchased when my family went to Washington, D.C., for a visit. I was never a passenger on a Pan Am flight, but it's remained one of my favorite airlines my entire life.¹ Reading about Juan T. Trippe, the founder and autocrat of PAA for decades, has only served to interest me more in the once-great aviation giant. As a less historically minded friend of mine once said, "Your sad devotion to these ancient transportation companies hasn't helped you conjur up their stolen market share, or given you clairvoyance enough to reignite public interest in---" I found his lack of faith disturbing. Ahem. Jollies aside, I've found something worth noting, and it's a tribute to the power of the individualist publisher who writes what he will, in the hopes that someone somewhere will read it and find it interesting. Comes now No Such Blog, which has a series of short articles on various topics of Pan Am history. I suggest starting at the very beginning (a very good place to start) with the article on Pan Am's genesis.² They're interesting articles, and I enjoyed reading them all. That I was almost late for an appointment as a result is a testament to their quality. The best one, from a "ooh, secret files" sense is about the loss of the Hawaii Clipper. It's tantalizing enough to be potentially accurate. You've got to love the secret history---hijacking or no---of the United States and her government in the years prior to World War II. It's compelling stuff. NB: Pan Am lives. Yes, that's right. In 2005, the Pan Am Clipper Connection serves routes on the East Coast. A bit of delicious irony: The Clipper Connection is operated by Boston-Maine Airways. Why do I care and why is this notable? Because the owner of it all is one Timothy Mellon, who happens to be the head honcho of Guilford Transportation Industries. GTI operates the Guilford Rail System, of which the Boston & Maine Railroad is a component. That's synergy, friends and neighbors. To wit, GTI/GRS has painted approximately 250 Boston & Maine/Maine Central boxcars in a Pan Am livery, doing so some time in March 2005. If you've got the July 2005 issue of Trains, turn to page 13. As is usual, GTI/GRS hasn't commented upon the project. Getting information out of them is apparently like pulling teeth from a baleen whale. ¹ If you care, the others are Cathay Pacific Airways, the British Overseas Airways Corporation, Virgin Atlantic Airways, and Delta Air Lines. If Eastern hadn't been a direct competitor to the Pennsylvania Railroad's Northeast Corridor passenger service (i.e. the Morning/Afternoon Congressional and the Senator), then perhaps I'd like them as well. I've had a passing interest in the Soviet airline, Aeroflot, as well for a couple of years. I vaguely remember thinking that they were funny because they wrote what looked like "A3POCPAOT" on the side of their planes. Our dreaded enemy, unable to spell their airline's name. At the time, nobody told me that there was such a thing as the Cyrillic alphabet. ² As sung by the delightfully beautiful and oh-so-British Julie Andrews. The only time I've ever stood slack-jawed in a Disney Store was when they had Mary Poppins on, and she'd just arrived on screen. Talk about an arresting beauty! The girl I was in the store with came back by, figured out what was going on, and snapped, "Another pale-skinned, blue-eyed blond with a British accent. You're so predictable!" Credit for this find is split evenly; Sheila O'Malley posted comments at The Llama Butchers; going to her site gave me this bit of direction.

Late Day Diversion

This is amusing. Nobody does seem to know her name. That being said, it's always fun to have a reassuring face at the Yahoo! mail login. Instead of wasting time (with your friends at Tosche Station?) with Dan Rather and other people, why not find out who she is? Might be a good professional boost. UPDATE: The Hatemongers' Quarterly has a similar viewpoint.

Another Rail Blog

Through the good graces of Technorati, I've found another railblog: RipTrack "deals with Railroad Track Engineering, Design and Construction. Not only should Professional Railroad Track Engineers find something of interest here, but also those whose tax dollars are being spent for all of thsoe new Light Rail and Commuter Rail Projects". The postings are somewhat sparse, but I would like to point out that which caught my eye: -Posting of an interview with former Federal Railroad Administration (FRA) man and Rock Island Railroad president/CEO John Ingram The Rock (more properly the Chicago, Rock Island & Pacific Railroad) probably stands as the most visible victim of the absolute mess the Federal Government had made of railroad regulation in the post-World War II period. (The Penn Central died of a variety of wounds, some of which were self-inflicted; blame for that mess can be spread to the government and everyone else involved as well.) Suffice it to say that the Rock Island and the Union Pacific started merger talks in 1960. The Interstate Commerce Commission approved the merger in 1974. There are of course a lot of factors in this, I'm sure, but fourteen years is a long time. Ultimately, the UP lost interest in the by-then deteriorated CRI&P, so the Rock was left to rot. See here for documentation. The Ingram interview was interesting to me above and beyond the Rock Island---of which I am not particularly enamored---because Mr. Ingram hints at some of the talk of railroad nationalization, something that was kicked about in the 1970s as the Penn Central collapsed and the Consolidated Rail Corporation loomed on the horizon. Interesting stuff. RipTrack makes list.

The Case for the Sith

In the spirit of Jonathan V. Last's most excellent "Case for the Empire", I offer the following two articles, written by a fellow named Sir George, over at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: We Are Sith We Are Sith - Part II If you're the sensitive sort, be careful. In the grand tradition of the Rottweiler, these posts are kinda sorta laced with some profanity action. But never mind that. I found this through a comment by a fellow named Duncan Avatar over at Rusty Shackleford's Jawa Report. NB: I've recently been asked why I'm so bloody cheerful about claiming affinity with the clearly established bad guys of the Star Wars universe. I can only say this: "It's a question of preferable caricature. Andrew Sullivan tries to imply that we're some sort of latter day Torquemadas, running around trying to make the sequel to The Pit and the Pendulum. Various others constantly try to make us out as being descended straight from the Nuremberg rallies of the 1930s, itching to build Auschwitz South at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. When pre-destined to be the agents of evil in the American political landscape and given a choice in costuming and weaponry between a) Roman Catholic frocks and the rosary, b) feldgrau and gas chambers, or c) black robes, black cloaks, and lightsabers, well, I'll choose "C" every single time. It's much more fun to cruise about in an Executor-class Star Destroyer as opposed to the Bismarck or one of Phillip II's treasure galleons. Since we're damned to be the villains of this narrative, then I might as well enjoy myself. Shane Falco was wrong: Chicks don't dig scars. Chicks dig Dark Jedi. Tip of the Executor hat to Steve the Llama Butcher.

The Chillin' Manifesto

The Coalition of the Chillin' has its manifesto out; I just forgot to make a public note of it. Here is the entire thing. I don't claim to have influenced the drafter of the manifesto, but the primary considerations that influenced me were represented in the final document. For posterity and intellectual vanity's sake, they're reproduced below: - the Republicans may want the filibuster preserved somewhere down the line; - the media and the Democrats would have clubbed us to death if we went nuclear, and we don't want a repeat of the '98 midterms; I was thinking more of the 1995 government shutdown, but whatever works. At any rate, we shall see how this develops. As "Albert Einstein" says in the introductory movie to Westwood's Command and Conquer: Red Alert, "Time will tell. Sooner or later, time will tell."

The Last Lightsaber Quiz Post

OK, so in the interests of creating efficiencies and doing things in one Tarkin-ish swift stroke, results from various lightsaber-based quizzes at Quizilla. If sites other than Quizilla prove fruitful, there may be additional posts.
You have earned the blue lightsaber. You are
skilled in the ways of the Jedi, and the Force
is strong with you. You have a mind of your
own, and sometimes do things your own way, but
always for the good. You are looked up to by
the young and are strongly respected for your
decisions.
Which Star Wars Lightsaber Should You Have?
You wield a red lightsaber.
Star Wars: What colour lightsaber should you wield?
Red. This color is usually held by ones who follow
the Dark Side and usually called a Sith Saber.
If you are in the Jedi Council with a saber
like this, I suggest you hide it as best you can
for it often shows you are a Sith.
What Color is your lightsaber?

Blue
What Color Lightsaber Are You?

You are Blue! You are cunning and brave. Yet you use all
resources in your power to promote peace as the
outcome of any fight. Similar Jedi include
Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan Kenobi.
What colour lightsaber do you use?
FINAL SCORE: 3 red, 3 blue. Note to self: Stay away from overly-friendly politicians who claim a persecution complex that only I can help resolve. Actually, that would keep me from ever responding to any direct mail fundraising efforts, as well. That works. Now to figure out what to do with that last banner, if not to resize it. Upon reflection, red and blue seem to be the predominant colors of my Red Sox hat as well. Yee haw.

Not Something You See Every Day

This, from robotech.com: In honor of the United Nations' 60th anniversary this year, the United Nations (UN) will debut a special Public Service Announcement (PSA) at MIP TV 2005. The 60-second spot, produced by Harmony Gold, is part of a broader effort to increase awareness of the work of the UN during this special period culminating with the 60th opening session of the UN General Assembly in the Fall. All grumbling about the UN aside, this PSA is something I'll be taking a look at when I can get it downloaded. "[The UN] feel[s] this is a unique way of contributing to the UN's message of peace at a time when the world really needs it", said Harmony Gold (owners of the Robotech franchise) Chairman & CEO Frank Agrama. Somewhere in there is Irony with a capital I. Being lectured on peace by the wardens of a series where approximately six to seven billion people are slaughtered in a few seconds and a thirty-year interstellar war pretty much blowtorches Earth is going to be interesting. On the other hand, the Robotech franchise (or more properly, the early Macross line) has an odd relationship with the UN, as does other mecha-centric anime from the late 1970s and early 1980s. A common thread running through the backdrop of several series is the unification of Earth's government, be it under the "Earth Federation" of Mobile Suit Gundam or the United Earth Government/United Earth Defense Council of Robotech. Something that you're likely to see pop on a not-intermittent basis is the phrase "UN SPACY". What does that mean, you ask? I had to learn it from a Gundam type, who made it pretty simple: U.S. Navy U.N. Spacy It's a contraction of sorts, for United Nations Space Navy. A lot of Gundam stuff for the Earth Federation sports this decoration, especially that by Kunio Okawara. More or less enthusiasm for the UN (or its general concept) and (in the case of the early Gundam series) a deep loathing of militarism would appear to be a common thread in a lot of the late 1970s/early 1980s stuff I tended to watch. One can understand both of them, because Japanese people were writing the scripts. I suppose these folks weren't too happy about having been hit with atomic bombs, and they were likewise unhappy with the glorification of the military, which I suppose led to the militarist party of Tojo et al being put into power. That, of course, wound up in 1945 with two wee little events in the skies over a pair of Japanese cities. Why Japanese nationals would be inclined to like the idea of a singular global government is beyond me, but then again, I'm in Virginia, which is close to half a world away from Japan, in more ways than one.¹ Go figure. I've got a frame of this thing downloaded, and it appears that the initial characters are going to be something I've not seen before, apparently from this Shadow Chronicles project that's supposed to be the latest entry in the Robotech universe. Me, I'll stick with the Macross Saga, 'cause it has Lisa Hayes. ¹ On the other hand, the Gundam universe seemed to establish, at least indirectly, that the Earth Federation wasn't exactly the nicest government either, at least by objective standards. Forced deportations from Earth were reportedly a facet of its social policy. UPDATE: I've now seen the ad. Here goes: BEGIN TRANSCRIPT TITLE CARD: "ROBOTECH salutes the work and people of the United Nations on its 60th anniversary". We see a seemingly ethereal woman drift down from the heavens while your average anime fighter PILOT stares up, goggle-eyed. He is standing next to a Veritech Alpha fighter in Guardian configuration. PILOT: Ariel! This world is not safe for you. Many humans will still have to be convinced that we can all live together in peace. ARIEL: Peace. It's amazing how beautiful this world can be when it is at peace. PILOT: Yes, and how violent it is when it is at war. As these last two lines are spoken, the camera pans from a green mountain range with pine trees and the like, to a shattered urban landscape, covered by reddish clouds in the sky. ARIEL turns her head back towards the PILOT, placing her right hand on the left side of the PILOT's head. The camera zooms into the PILOT's face as he closes his eyes. ARIEL: Humanity has the greatest potential in itself, to educate, to heal, to provide. Together, you can do this. Together, you can succeed. Together, we will survive. There are many voices, but it is all one world, a world where there is a need for peace now. And in the future. As ARIEL speaks, the scene transitions to a sepia-toned static illustration of a classroom with children being instructed from a chalkboard. A UNICEF sign hangs prominently over the chalkboard. Transition to a medical tent, where a WHO logo adorns a tent pole as a man sporting a blue "UN" armband treats a patient. Transition to an airfield(?), where men in what appear to be blue ballistic vests carry blue boxes, apparently food. One of the men is handing a blue box to an individual. The ballistic vests sport a wreathed insignia---half of the UN logo---surrounding an unidentified emblem. The letters "WFP" appear above the emblem. The static illustrations switch back to the PILOT's eyes as ARIEL begins the "Together" part of her speech. The camera cuts to ARIEL's eyes, which are a shade of purple as are her hair and eyebrows. The camera then cuts to an external view, sweeping past two mounds---potentially the final resting places of SDF-1, SDF-2, and Commander Khyron Kravsher's vessel?---to ARIEL and the PILOT, who is now sitting on the foot of his Alpha. Two forward-swept wing transport land in VTOL fashion in the background and the camera pans upward to a trio of the same aircraft flying in a vee formation. Camera continues panning until the blue sky turns to black. The black sky then displays a color illustration of the planet Earth, wreathed in the UN leaves. The caption reads, "UNITED NATIONS IT'S OUR FUTURE.", along with www.un.org END TRANSCRIPT. All intellectual property rights remain with the holder, ostensibly Harmony Gold. No claim is made against those rights. The use of names and other indicia from other Harmony Gold properties is solely for identification purposes and does not constitute a claim of right against the holder of the property. OK, now that the ersatz legal disclaimer is out of the way---don't sue me---a bit of response. I don't get this ad. Harmony Gold's intent was to reach children with this message, but I am not convinced that it succeeds. Do children these days know what UNICEF is, and are they going to catch it in the illustration? Ditto the World Health Organization and the World Food Program. The images are kind of quickly displayed, and obvious to me only because I have the luxury of starting and stopping the PSA with QuickTime. Of course, the closing message is absolutely unmistakable, but it's sort of presented as a definitive conclusion, without a whole lot of support. Of course, I don't know how a kid thinks, and they'll probably catch up on what the message wants them to get pretty easily: UN gooooood. (Napster baaaad!) If I were a UN officer, I would appreciate the thought, but I'd also thank my lucky stars that the organization didn't (apparently) pay for it. A quick bit of surfing confirmed a suspicion I had, and provided some additional information: The pilot made me think of The New Generation's Lieutenant Scott Bernard, for some reason. That stands to reason, because a source I've found says that it is a "redesigned" Lieutenant Bernard, and that the woman is Ariel, also redesigned from The New Generation. Of course she looked a little strange; she's an Invid---evil alien race---given human form. (The Invid can do that. Considering that their leaders are apparently able to, sort of like the later Zerg of StarCraft fame, able to warp space and time to travel around across interstellar distances simply by thinking about it, reshaping mere flesh and blood wouldn't be too hard.) Also, The Shadow Chronicles takes place after the end of the "Third Robotech War", wherein Earth is liberated from Invid subjugation. If I understand things right, the series will cover Lieutenant Bernard's search for the Robotech Expeditionary Force, a powerful group dispatched some twenty-five years earlier on a mission of armed diplomacy. See here and scroll down for a description of the effort; whoever's writing that site is not amused. Me, I'm just looking forward to seeing Admiral Lisa Hayes again.

Arise, Lord Pundit

Score!
You were destined to have a red lightsaber. Red is the color of fire and blood, so it is
associated with energy, war, danger, strength,
power, and determination as well as passion and
desire. You have seen the strength and power of
the Dark Side of the Force and you thirst
for more of it.

What Color Lightsaber Would You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla Heh heh heh. I think I wound up with red lightsabers by the end of Knights of the Old Republic games anyways, when I wasn't using blue. The plan for my current KOTOR II game is silver, or perhaps cyan. Red and blue dual wielding's also in the works. Country Pundit, Sith Lord of the Commonwealth of Virginia. I could get used to that. Tip of the Executor hat to Absinthe & Cookies.

A New Coalition

Of which there may be value in being part of, such as it were. My response to the judicial nomination thing was a resounding ho-hum. I wrote about it before, briefly, on the old site, and had been more interested in other things. There was, after all, a movie to be stood in line for. I was also rather concerned about what blowing through procedural safeguards could do in the long run. Like Al Perlman at the New York Central, I'm building for the future. Or at least that's what I told myself, conveniently leaving out the fact that Perlman's efforts went down in flames in 1970. Something, written for Sir Thomas More and his daughter's suitor by a playwright, came to mind: Roper: So now you'd give the Devil benefit of law! More: Yes. What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil? Roper: I'd cut down every law in England to do that! More: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you - where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country's planted thick with laws from coast to coast - man's laws, not God's - and if you cut them down - and you're just the man to do it - d'you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake. Put in ruthless simplicity, I feared what might happen when the Democrats regained their majority in the Senate. What would we, the GOP, do when our people realized that we'd blown away our only hope of keeping someone to the left of Cass Sunstein off the Federal bench? I regard a Democratic renaissance as an inevitable event, despite what Mr. Rove may think; I doubt that our GOP will (or even should be) in power for something like sixty straight years. But that's another post for another time. At any rate, here's something new, and INDC Journal clued me into it: The Coalition of the Chillin', which is, as they put it, "Dedicated to the proposition that the world didn't end on May 23, 2005." I highly approve. I don't care for John McCain and a lot of the other players in this game, but I'll take the banner of the Chillin'. Tip of the Executor hat to INDC Journal.

The Enterprising Country Pundit

Your correspondent thoroughly enjoys Internet quizzes of various stripes. This one, however, is actually useful: Pew Research Center Political Typology I took it, and was surprised at the result. Most of these sorts of things tend to call me a social conservative. I'd certainly identify myself as a social, rather than an economic, conservative. What'd I get? Enterpriser. The results are reproduced below with commentary where deemed appropriate: Enterprisers represent 9 percent of the American public, and 10 percent of registered voters. Basic Description As in previous studies conducted in 1987, 1994 and 1999, this extremely partisan Republican group’s politics are driven by a belief in the free enterprise system and social values that reflect a conservative agenda. Enterprisers are also the strongest backers of an assertive foreign policy, which includes nearly unanimous support for the war in Iraq and strong support for such anti-terrorism efforts as the Patriot Act. Defining Values Assertive on foreign policy and patriotic; anti-regulation and pro-business; very little support for government help to the poor; strong belief that individuals are responsible for their own well being. Conservative on social issues such as gay marriage, but not much more religious than the nation as a whole. Very satisfied with personal financial situation. Assertive? Oh yeah. Heh heh heh. And patriotic, too! I love my Commonwealth and my country; I expect that all other citizens do likewise. I don't dig flag burning, speech or no speech. I do not, on the other hand, have "very little support" for government aid to the poor. I just expect these programs to be administered efficiently, with the constant aim of making their recipients capable of self-sufficiency where possible. Who They Are Predominantly white (91%), male (76%) and financially well-off (62% have household incomes of at least $50,000, compared with 40% nationwide). Nearly half (46%) have a college degree, and 77% are married. Nearly a quarter (23%) are themselves military veterans. Only 10% are under age 30. Well, I'm a male and I project a future household income (i.e. my own, since there is no Mrs. Country Pundit, alas!) of about $50,000 (see prior post). I've got a doctoral degree---the J.D. strikes back!---but I've never worn the national uniform. When the U.S. Navy hands out gray uniforms, festooned with silver code cylinders and decked out with red and blue squares over the left breast pocket, I will immediately rectify this. Lifestyle Notes 59% report having a gun in their homes; 53% trade stocks and bonds in the stock market, and 30% are small business owners – all of which are the highest percentages among typology groups. 48% attend church weekly; 36% attend bible study or prayer group meetings. Kim du Toit will kill me for saying this, but I don't have any firearms in the home. There's never been any money in the budget for one, so I don't. Not that I live in a high-crime area, though; anything that gets into my home will probably be incapacitated by something left near the door or otherwise in the floor. Can't rob me blind if you've broken your leg due to tripping over stuff. What's even better is that I can't be sued for malicious wounding or anything else like that. "Your Honor, my client was not aware that leaving nails welded into a jackrock laying around was an activity that would be hazardous to trespassers. Once he was given notice of this, which would be after Mr. Burglar broke and entered and subsequently was maimed for life by an accidental grouping of these jackrocks, he, my client, remedied the problem." (Yes, I know jackrocks are illegal in Virginia, and rightly so. Bloody union coal miners!) On the other hand, if someone wanted to give me a Henry repeating rifle or a Spencer carbine, plus a Colt Navy Model 1851 revolver, well, I'd be much obliged. Ah'm yer huckleberry, Mr. Burglar. I don't own any stocks; being broke and dumping everything into education tends to do that to you, and I don't own a small business. I know a few people who do, and no thanks. I do attend church on a---pardon the word choice---religious basis. I don't go to Bible study or prayer meetings though; that must've been what kept me from being a Social Conservative. Enh, whatever. 2004 Election Bush 92%, Kerry 1%. Bush’s most reliable supporters (just 4% of Enterprisers did not vote) Yes, I voted for Bush, but I certainly don't back all his policies and I'm not entirely fond of him, either. Party ID 81% Republican, 18% Independent/No Preference, 1% Democrat (98% Rep/LeanRep) Well, duh. That fits. Media Use Enterprisers follow news about government and politics more closely than any other group, and exhibit the most knowledge about world affairs. The Fox News Channel is their primary source of news (46% cite it as a main source) followed by newspapers (42%) radio (31%) and the internet (26%). I do not use the Fox News Channel as my primary source of information. I'd suggest that National Public Radio and the Internet serve as my primary sources of information. I don't have time for FNC's poorly produced and aesthetically unappealing tripe. "Ooh! Let's get together and shout at each other, or focus on Laci Peterson, or celebrity gossip! Fair and balanced!" No. Make of this what you will, and take the test yourself. Comments and results are, as always, welcome. I'm glad that there's evidence to shatter this ridiculous 50-50 Red State/Blue State meme; it's stupid, simplistic, and annoying. To steal a thought from General Kenobi, "Only the masses think in absolutes!" Tip of the Executor hat to the Cold Spring Shops

How Class Works, Etc.

Liberals of varying stripe (cultural, political, economic, etc.) are usually Very Concerned about issues of "race, class, and gender". It seems to be one of the things that a lot of otherwise pleasant young women will get very nasty about, very quickly. I found this out in college, where a Nader-worshipping professor taught a class on that very subject. Lo, whilst I was amongst the feminine masses at an event, I trod upon the holy ground of the professor of race, class, and gender. It was something innocuous, on the order of "I don't like the cut of that man's jib", referring to the professor in question. As with Doctor Yueh, it would have been better had I not ever been born. A bunch of the RCG Groupies descended upon me like I was the last living human in a bad zombie film, shrieking cries of "Misogyny!" (It sounds awkward, but can be utterly disarming against an un-prepared combatant. Even the best Jedi needs a bit of heads-up in order to defend himself, after all.) I managed to retreat in good order mostly by expert spin on my own remarks. It was rather close. All that aside, I was directed yesterday to a point inside the NY Times website, wherein one can calculate their "place" in America's class structure, based upon some factors. Some data is based on personal projections and/or near-term targets, but even so, my results were surprising: Occupation: Lawyer/84th percentile (of prestige) Education: Doctoral degree, i.e. J.D./99th percentile Income: $50,000/69th percentile Wealth: Up to $500,000/85th percentile Average: 84th percentile There were five tiers in which each value was scored, "Bottom Fifth", "Lower Middle", "Middle", "Upper Middle", and "Top Fifth". Only "Income" was not "Top Fifth". This I had not expected. I have a hard time believing that lawyers are in the top 20% of respected jobs in this country, but then again, I've grown up in an area where peoples' ideas of lawyers, more often than not, were probably formed by unsmiling men in suits telling them that, "The company/lending institution has all rights to your property in this instance", so go figure. As for education, I'm not surprised; doctoral degrees aren't exactly handed out easily. Income sort of rattles me, however. $50,000 (a round estimate) is ahead of the median household income of $46,000 in the Commonwealth of Virginia in 1999, and is twice what the per capita income ($23,000) for Virginians in 1999 was. Yet, almost a third of the country makes more than that. It is difficult, I suppose, to internalize and comprehend that $50,000/year is both ahead of two statistical categories in the Commonwealth, while still lagging in the 69th percentile. Admittedly, when you have both Bill Gates of Microsoft and Janitor Willie on an income scale, things will look very strange. Wealth bothers me the most. The thing says that, "Wealth refers to a household's net worth in 2001. People in the middle of the distribution have between $50,000 and $100,000." I don't know if that includes all assets of the estate or not; my comments are based upon the understanding that "wealth" is wholly asset-inclusive. At some level, I am disturbed by what having $100,000 in wealth means and how far ahead of the rest of the country it puts you. Case in point: One of my best friends and his wife work in the financial industry. They're nowhere near the level of people from The Bonfire of the Vanities, and they don't work in one of Virginia's large cities. Yet, they just recently bought a house that cost close to a quarter of a million dollars. It obviously isn't paid for yet, but if you include the house's sticker price in their asset computation, they're ahead of 85% of the country in terms of wealth. They're both under thirty. I suppose the solution is to suggest better fiscal discipline on the part of the lower rungs of this particular ladder. Less cigarettes, more certificates of deposit, if nothing else. I understand that the lower rungs of wealth would obviously not be able to tuck away five digits' worth of savings every month, but even so, a slight program of regular savings at small interest has to pay off sooner or later. Deferred gratification works, doesn't it? (Yes. This message brought to you by the people of the United Methodist Church.) You'd think that sheer human greed would motivate people to have more wealth, whether through increased salary, participation in the financial markets, or what have you. Money has a particular effect on me, for instance. I respond to money approximately like Kirsten Dunst's creepy little Claudia in Interview with the Vampire responds to her first taste of human blood: "More, please." You'd think that this would be a rather universal reaction. At any rate, this survey taught me a couple of unpleasant truths. I certainly don't regard myself as some sort of socio-cultural economic elite, but the objective data would certainly suggest otherwise, and I'm not even that great of an economic performer. It bothers me at some level that the gap between myself and the man in the blue collar job probably can not be bridged, no matter how hard the blue collar man works. I, on the other hand, could theoretically improve my salary by an order of magnitude or two if I won a couple of cases, much like former North Carolina senator John Edwards. In the words of a cartoon character, "Zoinks!" I'm also somewhat irate about the high level of prestige attached to lawyering. Sure, it's a high value job. Does that mean that it's more important than say, the guy who picks up your garbage? That I don't know. I'd regard the garbage man as a foundational job, 'cause without him, I'd be up to my nose in rank filth. Ask New York City what it's like when the garbage men go on strike, especially when the Top Fifth isn't about to dirty its hands dealing personally with the problem. Organized civil society has problems when the guys the Times suggest are on the bottom don't do their job. It's like an army: The generals may plan grand strategy and the staff may concoct the perfect orders, but none of that's worth a hill of beans if Private Beetle Bailey decides he's not sending the orders, or doesn't want to drive his truck aggressively so that supplies get through. There is an inherent dignity in all honest labor performed well, regardless of what the Times and its snobbery thinks. It would seem that, based upon these factors and their yield, the following: 1. Your correspondent is better off than he thought he was. 2. Additional effort must be made in the philanthropic effort. As TR's speech to the Sorbonne put it, "To you and your kind much has been given, and from you much should be expected." 3. Even the seemingly modest (and relatively unsophisticated) economic goals of your correspondent are, apparently, pretty lofty when set against the rest of the country. 4. A certain sense of unease about the economic position of the country as a whole. I know that these data are the results of choices both conscious and unconscious, but they're also the result of externalities that the average individual can not, for whatever reason, overcome. That ought to be the bloody role of the government in the economy, making sure that we arrange things so that the man who wants to climb out of say a poverty-stricken background can do so with a fair amount of personal effort. The man from the Hamptons who is born into his third or fourth generation of wealth is no more accomplished---and perhaps less worthy of praise---than the man who comes from the poverty line to create a better life for himself, his wife, and his children. Put in racing terminology, the man who wins from the pole has less of a victory than the man who starts 43rd and finishes 15th. Well, now you know what I think. Tip of the Executor hat to Grim's Hall.

On This Day - Norfolk and Western History

23 May 1969 - Two of the Norfolk and Western Railway's named passenger trains, the flagship Powhatan Arrow and the Cavalier, made their last runs. I don't have my book on N&W passenger service handy, but off the cuff, I recall that the Arrow (Winston Link's favorite N&W passenger train, apparently) was combined with the Pocahontas, which was arguably the N&W's next best train. If memory serves, the "new" Pocahontas sported a Pullman-Standard Vista-Dome car, taken from the former Wabash Railroad's Blue Bird trainsets. Even though the new Pocahontas would survive into 1971, its route would not be picked up by the National Railroad Passenger Corporation, and thus went into permanent retirement. The Cavalier was notable for having its own logo, a fellow in a large hat with a Van Dyke beard. According to Kenneth L. Miller, people today would recognize it as the basic image used by the University of Virginia's Cavaliers sports teams. (One wonders if the people in C-ville paid the N&W, or if they just assumed that they, as Mr. Jefferson's University, were entitled to it.) From a reading of Norfolk and Western Passenger Service 1946-1971, the Cavalier was never particularly a crack train with the best equipment. Amusing. I could be wrong on anything other than the date and trains affected; blame a combination of Kenneth L. Miller and my shoddy memory if something turns up wrong. Primary information for this post was gathered from the 2005 color calendar published by the Norfolk and Western Historical Society.

The Military Aircraft Quiz

What military aircraft are you? F-15 Eagle You are an F-15. Your record in combat is spotless; you've never been defeated. You possess good looks, but are not flashy about it. You prefer to let your reputation do the talking. You are fast, agile, and loud, but reaching the end of your stardom.

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That's a nice description, but I would have preferred either some of the Cold War-era types (i.e. B-52 Stratofortress, B-58 Hustler, F-104 Starfighter, F-106 Delta Dart) or something like the F-14 Tomcat. I've had a long love-hate relationship with the F-15, which all got started back when I was a kid, and found out that the F-15 development program made copious use of former F-102A Delta Dagger fighters as drone targets for the AN/APG-63 radar & AIM-7 Sparrow missile combination. Later on, somewhere in the 1990s, I came about and decided to embrace the thing. It didn't hurt that I'd read the following (paraphrased) description of the F-15 program: "It was a typical American fighter: Developed in tremendous haste against an imagined threat (the MiG-25 Foxbat), it cost an absolute fortune, overran its budget multiple times, and wrecked several other procurement programs. But it was also the best land-based air superiority fighter in the world, and has been for fifteen years." Nevertheless: I don't actually have a combat record, but I did manage to do pretty good in law school once I actually got in the courtroom. Southern charm still goes a long way, especially when delivered in an understated "let's be reasonable" manner. I dunno about my looks. I'm a man; so long as I've shaved recently and had a haircut in the last month or so, I'm fine, thank you. I suppose my reputation preceded me on several occasions; it always helps, whether it be to put the other side to sleep or to earn their respect, depending. Yee haw. Fast, agile and loud? Two out of three ain't bad; I'm too old to be agile. But my hand-eye coordination's still good, thanks to a steady diet of computer games. Nearing the end of stardom my foot; the F-15C can still slaughter most anything in the skies, thank you. That is, if they'd give it the AIM-120B and AIM-9X with helmet-mounted sight. Kinda like Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven switching from pistol to shotgun. Tip of the Imperial Navy officer's hat to Llama Butchers. Bring back the Star Wars logo! UPDATE: Well, I spoke too soon about that 'slaughter most anything in the skies' bit. It appears that, when compared to the Su-35 (one of the more up-to-date Russian fighters), the Eagle loses nastily, requiring 1.3 lost F-15Cs to kill 1 Su-35. D'oh! And yes, I'm well aware that the Sukhoi Su-27 Flanker may very well be superior to the F-15; I've been playing the Su-27 Flanker series of flight simulators since 1996. You've gotta love that beautiful Russian crane.

In the Sidebar

Over off to the right you'll notice a few new things. I wanted to call attention to the Andrew Sullivan Freak-Out Advisory System. It comes courtesy of the people over at Wizbang, so pay it some mind. To read more about it, or to get it for your own publication, click here.

Movie-Going Humor

I'm guilty of laughing at several points during Revenge of the Sith, usually when laughter was appropriate. I like the interactive audience experience, except for the guy who keeps talking how he saw this or that on the web when he was surfing around in search of Star Wars porn. Ew. Anyways. I found a list of things to do in order to disrupt the movie-going experience, similar to the list of things to do while watching Return of the King. Here you go. I just about spewed soda on my laptop while reading several of these, and I was nearly reduced to tears of laughter amidst near-continuous sniggering. I highly approve.

Uncomfortable Analysis

That cursed Ith! She notes today the Revenge of the Sith review by Orson Scott Card, of Ender's Game fame. Mr. Card's review is both brutally honest and a welcome read; catch it and let me know what you think. Ith also says something that lands close to home: "So I'll redo "Revenge of the Sith" in my head, pretty it up, and then I'll go see it again and mesh the two together." That's interesting, now that I know that other people do it. For the sake of discussion, I'll call it "compression". Defined, it's the process by which one takes a movie and selectively edits it in memory so that only the good---as defined by the individual---parts are retained. To personalize this: Star Wars does not suffer from compression. The whole thing's an enjoyable ride, from "There'll be no escape for the princess this time" to "Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!" This was amply demonstrated to me over the weekend; I saw this movie in its original VHS release cut with a friend and his wife. She derived great amusement with the fact that she caught me either mouthing or mumbling lines throughout the entire movie. The Empire Strikes Back operates much the same way, with only a little fudging around the Dagobah sequences. I've never placed any faith in Yoda; I don't like the cut of that fuzzy little hunchback's jib. To inject other examples, The Hunt for Red October is almost compression-free. From chunks of Marko Ramius' discussion with Borodin to "Welcome to the New World, Captain", I remember this movie. Ditto RoboCop; I've only seen it a few times in eighteen years, but I still pretty much remember large chunks of the film. Admittedly, the dialogue isn't supremely complex, and much of it can be handled with random expletives and "I'd buy that for a dollar!", but that Dutch degenerate Verhoeven managed to make an impression. I haven't had to redo the first three movies in the Star Wars series, and I haven't had to redo HFRO in my head, either. This is, in my viewpoint, an example of good film-making. Not so The Lord of the Rings and the Matrix series. FOTR is the least compression-free movie of the bunch to me, but even it can be cut down to whatever happens in Lothlorien. That, and perhaps Boromir's demise, 'cause I really liked that character. Subsequent movies in the series have failed to make much of an impression on me. Note to future directors: If you wish to do so, then I suggest using Cate Blanchett in white. The Matrix films worked the same way. The first one had some rather memorable moments, and I've fumblingly tried to normalize use of snippets out of that movie into routine conversation. Unfortunately for the Wachowski Twins, they failed in their efforts for more memorable scenes in later films. Reloaded's been cut to a single sequence or two, mostly involving Agent Smith. Revolutions got cut to the Bane v. Neo/Trinity sequence, Trinity's little tantrum in the S&M club, and Neo's disgusted exclamation while in the subway tunnel. Considering that I made those cuts pretty much an hour or two after seeing the movie, that's pretty bad. Of course, I was disgusted with the whole thing, but never mind. So where does Revenge of The Sith fall? I don't expect to remember enough of it to start reeling out chunks of dialogue, but it's certainly a pleasant memory across several scenes, unlike The Phantom Menace. Ugh. I really need to get busy with the work of the day.

A Bit of Issue with the Senate

The Republic Senate, that is. I had been surprised to discover that Kenner had released an action figure of Senator Mon Mothma, of Chandrila.¹ Naturally, I decided that I had to find her in the current picture. That, as they say, didn't work. I had two sets of eyes watching the movie several times in total, and we saw nothing of the Chandrilan senator. Being thwarted in our collective efforts, we turned to the wisdom of the Internet Movie Database, which confirmed the presence of the character in the movie, played by an actress named Genevieve O'Reilly. Ms. O'Reilly was also noted as having played "Officer Wirtz" in the latter two of the Matrix pictures. None of this helped, and we were a bit stumped. Nobody remembered an Officer Wirtz from Zion or the Matrix itself, so we figured that Mon Mothma was another one of these "If you look at the left side of the screen whilst occluding your eye to the seventh house of Jupiter, you will see her shadow for approximately 0.75 seconds during the sequence where Senator Skywalker makes her observation about thunderous applause" kinds of characters. However, trust the Internet to bail out the semi-obssessive fanboy in need of a fix. The IMDB message board for Ms. O'Reilly saved the day, telling us two things: 1. The scenes with Senator Mothma (no relation to Senator Mothra, from the island planet of Toho) were cut. 2. Officer Wirtz was in the Zion scenes, with spoken dialogue in Revolutions, asking "What are they doing?" in response to an action taken by the sentinel horde. A quote, relayed second hand or so, from Rick McCallum (Mr. "George Doesn't Think the Technology's There So That's Why We're Still With VHS" Producer dude in the blue denim shirt a couple of years back) suggests that there'll be deleted scenes on the forthcoming DVD release. I certainly hope so; it seems a waste for Ms. O'Reilly's character to not make the screen. At any rate, now that that mystery's solved, off to less profitable things. I'm just glad I wasn't somehow missing a giant chunk of the film. See here for one more-or-less authoritative fan source of information WRT the character. The Star Wars website offers The O'Reilly Factor and the 'Databank' entry for Senator Mothma. I'd vote for her. ¹ We do not recognize the new regime in place. So far as this publication is concerned, Kenner is still making the Star Wars toy line. Hasbro, on the other hand, manufactures the G.I. Joe and Transformers toy lines. Your correspondent is, if nothing else, not about to change terminology simply because twenty-odd years of corporate mergers have intervened.

More Star Wars

Enough? Never! I'm finally around and coherent for the ending of a movie series that has been present in my entertainment world since the Carter Administration, and there's no way that it'll ever be rivalled. Four out of six were solid pictures, and I could, during a moment of weakness, find something nice to say about Attack of the Clones, pushing the ratio to 5:6. That's got the original Star Trek cast beat, and that's sayin' a lot. Besides, I'd rather write about Star Wars than Senate nuclear options or Social Security reform, because lots of other people whose lives revolve around Karl Rove's checklists are doing that for fun, profit, and traffic. Revenge of the Sith beats Republicans led by Frist any day, if you will. Having perused a list of the little action figures from the current movie, I saw that Hasbro Kenner's released Governor Tarkin. Yeeeeeeee haw. A buddy of mine invited me over to his house to watch a VHS copy of the original Star Wars cut, and I was reminded of just how cool Wilhuf Tarkin is. We could use him against the Islamists. Of course, I'll have to get one or two of 'em for the collection. Ith over at Absinthe & Cookies is reminiscing about Splinter of the Mind's Eye, the very first Star Wars novel other than the one penned by Lucas himself as part of the Star Wars marketing effort. It was written by Alan Dean Foster, a 1970s sci-fi heavyweight, and was reportedly so poorly received that it took Lucas another twelve years or so to greenlight another Star Wars novel. (That novel would be Heir to the Empire, which was written by a guy whose jacket photo had him in a Colonial warrior's jacket from Battlestar Galactica. Sweet.) I found a copy of it several years ago in a flea market, and didn't share in the majority opinion. If I remember correctly, the novel was clearly a product of the post-Star Wars, pre-Empire universe, so things weren't so fleshed out that Foster couldn't maneuver a bit. I do seem to recall a bit of Luke trying to figure out how best to score points with Leia, which at the time made all the sense in the world. The novel certainly wasn't high literature, but from Foster, what could you expect? He had a style all his own, and I remember the thing reading similarly to his novelization of The Black Hole, which would have been published about the same time. And yes, our resident Dark Lord of the Sith, Darth Vader, was a right monster in it. None of this touchy feely compassionate stuff about him; this was the Vader fully on His Majesty's Sith Service, and thus at least one or two all-out slaughters ensued. In summation, it was a decent novel that, while not being on par with Timothy Zahn's work in Heir to the Empire, was a good read for a trip or something. I doubt it deserves the whole part of opprobrium that's dumped upon it nowadays. I dare the modern fans to stand it against The Courtship of Princess Leia and tell me that Splinter is bad writing. That particular work, in my opinion, started the long slide that Star Wars books have been in for quite some time. The first batch of "academy" novels by K.J. Anderson didn't help much either---except for Admiral Daala, huh huh huh---and the X-Wing series was too uneven to really sustain a lasting interest. Tremendous savings on my part, though. In related news, a recent purchase---support the war economy!---was the current model of Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber. Wal-Mart (boo hiss!) had them for fifteen bucks, so I couldn't refuse. It's a solid low-cost toy, with color-changing blades. That little feature sold me on it over a Kenobi saber, but now I've still got to get one of those, too. I'm not entirely sure why I'm so fond of the Anakin Skywalker model. It's probably because the thing was the first 'saber I ever saw, and so I've had an attraction to it as a result. Conversely, I've never really been fond of the one made by his son; the thing looks too fragile. Qui-Gon Jinn's was also pretty nifty, but it seems like you could lose it pretty easily. Darth Vader's is just unwieldly, in my opinion. However, the ones made in the late 1990s, prior to the release of Phantom Menace, were superior; they were scaled more for people of my age group, as opposed to children. Nowadays, the lightsabers are made for kids, not fully-grown adults. (There's something uncomplimentary in there, but I'm not going to say any more.) What I need is an adult-scale lightsaber that can be fiddled around with, instead of costing $500 or so. Suggestions are, of course, welcome. Thus ends yet another long post in the blogging world on Star Wars. Now, where's my statute of Admiral Piett?

A Brief Note

I'll be on the road most of the day, so any update will come late in the evening. Planning on a third viewing of Revenge of the Sith if all goes well. It would be safe to say that the word, "pwn3d" applied to Darth Vader when fighting General Kenobi. Buzz droids would be so fun to send in the direction of say, MoveOn's legions. I'm also slowly bringing this particular blog up to speed; much of Blogger is alien to me, so I'm having to learn their way of doing business. Sooner or later, I'll be up and running with some blogrolling action.

Supporting the War Economy

I have recently acquired one of these little gems, namely a Darth Tater. Never had a Mr. Potato Head in my life, but now I do, and it's tied into my longest-standing favorite franchise. Now, if I could scrounge up the additional funds to buy myself one of those $100 lightsabers sold at GameStop. A guy had one at the premiere yesterday, and it was nifty. Meanwhile, I've finally fired Knights of the Old Republic II back up for a little bit. There is an eternal truth I've discovered: Killing things with Force lightning can be done for fun and profit. However, it doesn't seem to have the same effect upon my character in that game as it does on Darth Sidious. Heh heh heh.

The Evening Outrage

John Podhoretz continues to dig himself a hole in my viewpoint. Didn't notice the "airport terminal", and I don't care that the Old Republic didn't have ultrasound. There's probably a logical fallacy somewhere around Podhoretz's assumption that just because we have ultrasound that the OR would as well. But of course, it's John Podhoretz, so obviously his criticism is dead-on accurate, and he stands in the ranks of film criticism right beside Pauline Kael. Note to the so-called "J-Pod": When in a hole, stop digging. Next, we have the marginally funny Warren Bell commenting the following: I deliberately avoided the political overtones of Revenge of the Sith. Enough has been made of it already. The so-called political overtones are not there. I discussed this with Boy of heterophobic (Caution; journal not necessarily work safe) and we agree that the people reading modern politics into the picture see it because they want to see it. I suppose that it's a desire to feel persecuted or rebellious against evil Hollywood; rise up, man the barricades, and demand that Senator Frist exercise the nuclear option! (Which, incidentally, I can't care a whit about.) Mr. Bell continues: Heroes on both sides? Utter nonsense. If there are heroes on the Separatist/Droid side, we never see them. The notion that there are heroes on both sides sounds an awful lot like "one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter," and it's indicative of the grade level of Lucas's political sophistication. He is right about one thing: We never see any heroic figures in the separatist army. As best as I can remember, we get some wheezing Montgomery Burns of a droid with a biological heart in General Grievous, and then a lot of so-stupid-it's-implausible droids who serve as 'saber fodder for our heroes. That is, unfortunately, the first and last time that Mr. Bell is accurate about anything in his post. It's not much of an intellectual effort to realize that on any side of a conflict, you're going to find soldiers who do things that would be considered heroic. In World War II, Audie Murphy performed actions that we in the United States would consider heroic. I doubt the officers and men of the Wehrmacht would see it in the same light, but there you have it. Murphy was a war hero, and I do not dispute it. On the other side, consider the actions of Günther Prien, commander of U-47. On 14 October 1939, Prien led his ship into the Royal Navy anchorage at Scapa Flow. While there, he was able to torpedo the battleship HMS Royal Oak, and then return to the German submarine base at Kiel. This was no small action; Scapa Flow was one of the most, if not the most, important Royal Navy bases. It constituted a major victory on a variety of levels for the Germans, and won Prien tremendous fame. He was hailed as a public hero when he returned to Germany, and reportedly remained Admiral Karl Doenitz's favorite commander until the loss of U-47 in mid-1941. (For a good account of the Scapa Flow action, see here.) Setting aside for the moment the fact that Prien sailed for National Socialism, a question for Mr. Bell: Do you not think that Prien's actions were heroic? Merriam-Webster includes in its definition for hero the following: "an illustrious warrior, a man admired for his achievements and noble qualities, one that shows great courage" I don't know anything about the noble qualities---or not---of Prien, but sneaking into the British equivalent of Naval Station Norfolk and sinking a capital ship sounds rather courageous and like an achievement worthy of praise. And then of course grit your teeth, clench a fist, and curse the man for his success. Enh. Perhaps J-Pod is blinkered to the point where everything comes to him through an ideological lens. He reportedly wrote a book that hailed George W. Bush as the greatest Presidential speaker since Franklin Delano Roosevelt, so that may be some indication that Podhoretz is overly sensitive to perceived criticism of the sitting President. As for Warren Bell, I'm not sure what to think. It's rather juvenile I would think to believe that only one side's soldiers are capable of heroic deeds. Oh well. My new Revenge of the Sith litmus test is humming along just fine, and more names are being added to the list of those who get ignored. Warren Bell, you just wrote yourself on there. Mr. Podhoretz, you've inscribed your name not only in blood, but with hammer and chisel.

Trailer Review

Four trailers stuck out in my mind: Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Neither Brad Pitt nor Angelina Jolie make my list of preferred actors & actresses. Although I liked the latter's performance as Francesca Cook in Sky Captain, she's just never caught my fancy. Until now. Er, right. She's right attractive, as a matter of fact. Gratuitous gunplay with a gorgeous woman can always catch my eye. Consider both of them caught. According to some IMDB reports, Nicole Kidman was going to be in the Angelina Jolie role. Curses. Bewitched - It has Nicole Kidman. 'nuff said. That being said, I used to like watching the original series on television in various re-runs, and I was rather interested in seeing how well Miss Kidman would compare to Elizabeth Montgomery, who was arguably one of the best-looking women on television during the original broadcast run of the series. One of Australia's finest---alongside Cate Blanchett, of course---does very well, thank you. She'll go very far in covering up for that blathering idiot Will Ferrell. Michael Caine's presence ought to add to the success. Did I mention that Nicole Kidman's a babe in this? Combine it with a touch of white magic, and well, hellllloooooooo nurse, to quote one of the Warner Brothers. War of the Worlds - This might be good. I really enjoyed---and was often scared by---the late 1980s Paramount syndicated show of the same name. I'm not much of a Tom Cruise fan---any man who'd leave Nicole Kidman---but this might actually be good. I'm sort of hopeful about this, even though I doubt I'll ever get to hear that creepy "To life immortal!" again. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe - I have high hopes for this, and it looks to be done well. I'm eager to see how this one plays out, with special curiosity as to the way Lewis' Christian themes and imagery survive the Hollywood process. I just wish Jadis had gone to one of my favorite Australian actresses. Tee hee. Hopefully this will be well done and do well; I'd like to see The Voyage of the Dawn Treader put to film. UPDATE: I forgot to mention one other picture's trailer. Fantastic Four - I barely understand this particular Marvel franchise. Most of the comic books I read when I was younger were moldering back issues of the Marvel Battlestar Galactica book, Transformers, and the various Robotech series. At any rate, Jessica Alba is miscast as Susan Storm Richards. From a visual perspective, Jessica Alba doesn't match what I've found to be the more or less image of Mrs. Richards; the color scheme seen in the movie doesn't work. Oh well. Johnny Storm looks interesting, and Reed Richards looks like Reed Richards should. Ben Grimm will be weird to watch on screen. Nevertheless, I'll probably shell out for this flick as well. I can't remember the last time all the trailers to a movie came away with me thinking "I'll go and see it". Interesting.

Revenge of the Sith

Just got back from the midnight show at the local theater. First in line, first in theater, and all that. Yee haw. That'll be something to tell the grandkids, assuming that I ever have any. Revenge of the Sith is easily the best of the three new pictures, and compares well with the first three. The Empire Strikes Back it ain't, but that's OK. I won't spoil anything for the hordes of people who haven't yet seen it, so don't look for plot details just yet. I'll say this, however: Anyone trying to link either Darth Vader or Chancellor Palpatine to George W. Bush will have an impossible task; Junior's not capable of the kinds of things that we see these two get up to. It's nice to shatter a meme in the making, after all. This movie pretty much seals Darth Vader's claim to be the ultimate [redacted], state of the [redacted] art, with apologies to Private W. Hudson, USCM. John Podhoretz, you may be all that and the proverbial bag of chips in writing for magazines, but you, sir, fail miserably as a critic of the Star Wars saga. For once, I wasn't rolling my eyes and averting my gaze at an awful picture, so by that (admittedly vague) test, Revenge of the Sith wins. Mr. Podhoretz joins Stephen Moore in the column of National Review columnists who I won't be paying attention to. I had several vocal cheers, several exclamations of surprise (or laughter) and was generally impressed with the film. It took Lucas twenty-eight years, but he finally managed to hold my attention from the director's chair once again. The one thing that stuck out at me was that certain headgear for a particular officer class looked inaccurate, but I'll leave it to the people who keep close track of these things. Setting that aside, I was impressed by several recognizable homage shots, and a touch or two of Spielberg in a particular action sequence. I also appreciated the way the movie managed to illustrate a tremendous amount of activity spanning nigh-on twenty years in just a few minutes. More testimony to the power of the moving picture, I suppose. Gimme a black cape and similar robes any day. Just have Miss Portman waiting in the wings...

Certainly an Unexpected Result

Continuing in the Star Wars vein, here's a little something I picked up from Ith at Absinthe & Cookies: Interesting. I'd been hoping for either Grand Moff Wilhuf Tarkin or Admiral Firmus Piett, but the absolute ruler of the galaxy and probable ancestor to Connecticut Senator Joseph Lieberman will have to do. I don't look like that, though.

A Resounding 'Feh' to Patrick Ruffini

I've stayed out of the recent tussle between some conservatives and George Lucas, primarily because I've known for years that Lucas, although a gifted filmmaker, wasn't ideologically sound. Heck, Richard Nixon knew it in time to include evidence in his 1985 book, No More Vietnams. Anyways, Lucas has said some things recently---no links; I don't care---that link George W. Bush with either Senator/Emperor Palpatine and/or Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, and the United States of America with the Old Republic/Galactic Empire. Clearly George is off his rocker; Jar Jar Binks is evidence enough of that. We're not turning into the Galactic Empire, although that would be cool. Being able to say, "We got Death Star" and meaning it is an attractive proposition, and so is the concept of a "dreaded Imperial starfleet". Message: We'll blow your planet up. Anyways, the one-time director of the Bush-Cheney 2004 Internet effort, Patrick Ruffini, has gone and done something annoying. That is, he has tried to claim Darth Vader as a conservative icon, by slapping various decals all over Vader's armor in a screenshot from the Bespin lightsaber duel. That it's amateurly done is besides the point; that's half the point of a Photoshop edit. Nevertheless, the work annoys. Why does it annoy? I don't know for sure. For one thing, I've been a Vader fan for nigh-on 30 years. For cinematic entries, it's hard to top the first shot of Vader stepping through a breached door on the Tantive IV. From there, he goes to choking Captain Colton Antilles with one hand, yet another uber-cool move. Come to think of it, he's the epitome of cold competence and hard-case throughout Star Wars. In The Empire Strikes Back, he ratchets it up a notch. Disposing of senior Imperial Navy officers who displease him? Check. Strolling effortlessly through a free-fire zone that his troops haven't yet secured, i.e. Hoth? Check. Stopping blaster bolts with merely an upturned palm? Check. Yeah, I like ol' DV. (So did Liz Phair, but in a much different manner.) So maybe that's why I object to the low-grade defiling of the original black-clad bad boy. Doing Vader up like a Chevrolet Monte Carlo in the Winston Cup circuit is, well, perhaps sacrilegious or something. I don't like it, and to top it off, Ruffini's selection of stickers seems enh, oleaginous. First off, George W. Bush ain't Darth Vader, and I doubt Vader would let Bush live long. The details: Darth Vader goes to war on a regular basis. He's an accomplished swordsman, Force-wielding adept, experienced at command, and is arguably one of the toughest guys in the Star Wars pantheon. George W. Bush, by comparison, served in the Air National Guard while dodging Vietnam service. Darth Vader would've gone to Hanoi, killed Ho Chi Minh with that remote choke, and then disposed of the Politburo by lightsaber. Advantage, Vader. Seeing the Fox News Channel ("Your source for annoying, poorly-produced news!") logo induces an eye-rolling "ugh". Ditto Glenn Reynolds and the attempt to link Vader to NASCAR and the Republican Party. Note: NASCAR under Brian France belongs more to the hip-hop wing of the Democratic Party, or at least we're supposed to believe. I would prefer non-political NASCAR, m'self. Dale Earnhardt, Sr., may have been "The Man in Black" on the track, but er, Vader tops him there. The "3" doesn't belong. As for Budweiser, must we focus upon that oat-brewed swill? Rubbish. I don't think it's mere coincidence that most beers look and smell like fluid waste. And besides, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., is a punk who dishonors his father's name. Peh to Glenn Reynolds and Hugh Hewitt; neither of them speak for me. At any rate, I've probably spent more time on this than I should, but Ruffini's exercise in jest doesn't get it done. Maybe I'm not part of the Fark crowd, but his picture just leaves me indifferent. An ever-so-indifferent tip of the Wisconsin hat to John Podhoretz.

An Unpleasant Alternative

After close to a month of no access to the blogging software (got a real nasty error, I do) I've resurrected this ancient stand-by. Oddly enough, I created it as a redundancy for the dramatools blog in case something happened. Well, something did happen, and here we are. I don't know a blessed thing about Blogger/Blogspot, but I can punch out text. Hooray.

Positive News

I'm told by the server admin that the original blog (tcp.dramatools.net) can be accessed for publishing, with a little work. This is, of course, a good thing. Meanwhile, I'm procrastinating on studying for the bar and watching Das Boot with subtitles. In other news, I've recently picked up another one of Sega's last console, the Dreamcast. Go to Dreamcast History for all your Sega goodness.

Continuity of Government

After a long period of radio silence---largely explained by the words "Virginia bar exam"---and mysterious technical difficulties, I've had to switch to an alternative method of communication. The blog at dramatools will be resurrected at first chance; this is only some sort of interim solution. At any rate, if any of the readership is the praying sort, I'd appreciate them for my quest against the Virginia bar examiners. TCP.